How I Got Here || GOT7

39: How they started another game

I walked around the place looking for Bambam but he was nowhere to be found. I found Jackson though. "Hey Jack.."

"Hey beautiful." He grinned playfully but soon his smile faltered when he noticed my distracted state. "What's wrong?"

"Do you have a roof?" He looked at me like I was talking gibberish then looked up at the ceiling.

"I'd like to think I do yes." I internally facepalmed.

"How can I get up there?" He looked at me as if he was questioning my sanity before his expression relaxed.

"You're looking for Bambam." I didn't reply. "He's the only one who asked me how to get up there a while back. There's a fire escape outside that'll lead you up there." I nodded and walked away forgetting to thank him. Something about how my stomach was twisting and turning made me feel anxious about finding my best friend. The way he seemed so different earlier still replayed in my mind.

Once I got to the top, I was actually surprised there was a decent setting. A wooden crate table displayed on a rug with a few throw pillows scattered all around. Fairy lights were dimly lighting the place . He was sitting crisscrossed with his back leaning against the wooden crate as he held a bottle of beer in his hand. I cleared my throat and he looked at me from the corner of his eyes but didn't fully turn towards me. "Can I?" I asked pointing at the spot next to him. He finally faced me, he looked at me as if he was analyzing me before he nodded, I found my way and sat next to him. "Are you mad at me?" I finally asked, even though I could feel my hands shaking.

"I don't know but shouldn't I be asking you that question?" I didn't reply but my confused look made him chuckle bitterly. "I thought we were best friends, I showed you parts of me, I never allowed anyone to see and one day I wake up, hear that you're gone for the weekend after an entire week of you avoiding me. Best friends talk about things, they solve problems together Su. What bad deed did I do to deserve that?" I felt guilt piling up and a lump in my throat stopped me from even attempting to explain myself. Not that I knew what I wanted to say, I just felt so much guilt. I hurt him because I was so selfish trying to figure out my feelings for him and his hyungs.

"I'm sorry." Was all I could come up with.

"I don't want an apology Su, I want my best friend back."

"I'm here."

"Yeah? Then where were you this whole week? Why did run away this weekend. Talk to me. It's driving me crazy. What did I do? I want to fix it."

"You didn't do anything."

"Then what? Tell me." Oh god, he wasn't gonna let it go.

"I started to have feelings for multiple people so I felt like I was being a fucking whore. Is that what you wanted to hear? I didn't want to hurt any of them so I avoided everyone and needed to talk to Hannah about it." I blurted all out.

"You still could have told me. I would have never judged you. You're my best friend, nothing would ever change that." I sighed and shook my head. How would I have told him. "You could have told me you needed Hannah, you didn't have to avoid me. I missed my best friend. I felt horrible thinking I wronged in some way." I felt tears building up and finding their way to the surface.

"I'm really sorry I made you feel that way." I apologized and a tear slipped. He immediately turned his whole form to face me, his gaze was so soft as he wiped the tear with his thumb.

"Hey, hey. It's okay. I'm a big boy, I'll survive." He took me in his embrace, a warm feeling washed over me, it was refreshing.

"I'm really sorry. You know I never meant to hurt you right?" He nodded as he rested his chin on my temple.