How I Got Here || GOT7

46: Can't sleep

(Still Hannah's POV)
"Who told them she had a panic attack?" I asked.

"Mark hyung asked and I just said she collapsed." Taehyung seemed afraid to answer. I was so close to scolding him when we heard a loud thud in the room. I ran in first.

"Hey, babe. What's wrong? Are you okay?" I asked her, she seemed out of it still.

"Sorry, I accidentally knocked out the backpack." She said hastily. I walked over to the backpack and started collecting the scattered stuff. "Where's Mark?" I paused and looked up at her, her eyes were puffy looking around the room, searching for a person currently being on another continent. My heart ached for her, this was how she usually is after panic attacks, her brain briefly disconnected her from reality and usually took a few minutes to retrieve her memories.

"Honey..." My voice cam out as a soft whisper. She seemed to snap back to the present.

"Oh... Sorry." She barely voiced out those words. "Are they worried? I didn't mean to-.."

"Hey, no. You're not gonna apologize for what happened. You were way too calm anyways, like a ticking bomb." I interrupted her with my blunt words. "You always care about everyone else but never yourself." It was the truth. "The boys out there are fine, yes they're worried but they'll live. Now, you need to eat so we can go to the venue. This is our first time being backstage as staff!" I said excitedly, I jumped on the bed next to her, she smiled weakly and shook her head.

"The ARMY within me is hitting me on the head and being so annoyingly hyped up about this." She said softly.

"I guess she'll be thrilled if I take you down to the restaurant for a bite?" Namjoon popped his head into the room. Su let out a breathy and shy laugh, it was good to see her getting all giddy like that.

"Okay kids. Have fun, but not too much." I said, rising off the bed. "I have a boyfriend to energize." I wiggled my brows before I was hit by a soft fluffy pillow. I laughed loudly, glad she was being her fun but ashamed of my blunt comments self.

Once I was free to text back Ian, I assured him that she was fine. Nothing I couldn't handle. Me and Su have been through a lot, this unfortunately, was one of the few reoccurring issues we've faced.

(Su's POV)
After the long night of the successful concert we were finally back at the hotel room. Some of the boys were still jet-lagged even though they were physically exhausted. They invaded our room and ordered room service. I couldn't complain as they were telling stories about the concert, who saw what, who did what and so on. I felt genuinely blessed for having them. We weren't that close but they still protected me as if I was one of them, they still made sure I felt safe and tried to relieve my discomfort.

"Wanna go to bed?" Namjoon asked after he pushed Jin and Hoseok out the door. I was already dosing off but nodded anyways. "Why don't you take the bed? I'll sleep out here." He suggested softly.

"No it's okay I'll sleep here on the couch. It's actually very comfy." I curled myself on the big sofa. He shook his head and smiled gently.

"Come on, I'll take you." He effortlessly and ever so gently lifted me off the sofa bridal style before freezing in place. As if a moment of realization hit him. "Sorry, I didn't mean-.."

"It's okay." I knew Hannah scolded him, but this time I was actually conscious and okay with it.

He walked to the room before throwing me playfully onto the bed. "God, you're heavy." He joked faking a lower-back injury. I threw a pillow at him but couldn't hold back the smile. "I'm kidding." He laughed softly as well. "Sleep well Su." As soon as he turned around, I stopped him, gripped on a few of his fingers.

"The bed is big enough to fit us both." My tone was low, I didn't want to give out that I was nervous and scared to sleep alone but I think he already saw that. Within seconds I felt soft lips pressed against my temple. After a slight pause he spoke.

"Sorry, I just.." He drifted off as I looked up at him, showing the amount of gratitude I felt for him and the boys, they made me feel loved and protected. "You don't have to thank me. You would have done more than what we're doing I know that for sure." I didn't reply, how did he know what my thoughts were? He chuckled. "Jimin's right. It all shows." His fingertips brushed my chin which caused shivers down my spine.

—————

We were finally in bed, there was a safe distance between us, as if there was an invisible barrier in the middle of the bed. I laid on my back, tried to will myself to sleep. "Oh fuck yes baby! Oh Jimin!" A muffled moan echoed through the walls and I had to lay still on the bed, I didn't know if I should acknowledge the voices or ignore them completely. Namjoon turned to face me, eyes still closed. I thought he was asleep so I just laid there awkwardly still. "Ah, Oppa!" I almost choked and started coughing.

"Sorry, Jimin's mostly active on tour." Joon sighed opening his eyes. Mine were wide though. "Please tell me you didn't think the tour was strictly professional." He chuckled lowly.

"I'm guessing this is a frequent habit for you guys.." I said quietly.

"Basically for any sexually active idol." My eyes were about to pop out of my head. "That I know of..." I know he meant well but it really didn't help.

Does that mean the boys back home......?

"I don't know what to say.." I really didn't.

"You don't have to say anything." He shrugged and was about to close his eyes again.

"Wait, am I cockblocking you?" I asked before even filtering my words. His sudden laugh made me nervous.

"No baby girl you're not cockblocking me. Trust me." I nodded and tried to force myself to sleep already but I seriously couldn't. Jimin's voice along with his partner were a bit too loud. It was making me feel awkward and caused my cheeks to heat up.

"Can't sleep?" Joon's voice was so deep, yet so soothing. I opened my eyes to find him so close to me, his warm breath brushed against my skin and I almost stumbled backwards. I shook my head with eyes wide open. "Neither can I." He sighed. I could see a problem rising down there. Quite literally.

"Do you um..." I drifted off which caused him to look at me quizzically. "Do you need or just want help with that?" My voice could barely be heard. I didn't even think he heard me because he kept his gaze fixated on mine for a long while before he finally broke off the awkward silence.

"I thought you'd never ask." His lips pressed on mine, I froze for mere seconds before I returned the favor. The kiss was passionate, greedy and needy. "You don't have to-.." I cute him off.

"I know, I want to. Trust me, I do." I said breathlessly before going back to his lips. Maybe it was a coping mechanism, maybe I was just straight up horny but, I really did want him.
His body slowly but surely hovered over me as I parted my lips to allow his tongue to explore. God, he was so gentle yet so eager. I wouldn't even know how to describe it.

Slowly his lips traced my jawline before going up towards my ear and whispered. "I wanna make you feel good." His voice alone was enough to make my downside pulsate in need for him. But instead of melting like my entire body did, I laughed and gave him a challenging look, he pulled back to look at me with the cutest confused expression.

"All talk Mr. Kim. I don't see any actions..." I bit my lower lip to stop my embarrassment from showing. I barely recognized myself for being so brave and daring. Perhaps that was the result of me trying to direct my frustration of reality towards whatever that was happening with Joon.

As if provoked, he held both my wrists above my head with a bit of force, making me lay on back as he hovered above me. "Do you enjoy poking the beast baby girl?"