The Degradation (translation)

Chapter 14

Jean-Paul Sartre wrote: "Violence, in any form, is a loss." Every time I lose control, every time I get violent, I feel like I'm losing. It's in me. All that anger and hatred. They're part of me.

***

"He's ruined my whole life!"

"Don't you think you're exaggerating?"

I look at Liam in shock. He tosses me an apple, and I catch it and hand him a plate...I don't know what. Curve, in spite of the muck. The beauty of the university cafeteria is that you have no idea what you're eating.

"Exaggerating? He accused me of stealing the book. Which I took myself!"

"For God's sake, Louis, we were seven years old."

"So what? It ruined my reputation."

"What a mess."

"Yeah, you don't even know how I...stop. Are you kidding me?"

"Me?" He opens his mouth wide. "I didn't even think of it!"

"Remind me why I'm talking to you at all."

"Because I'm an incredibly cool guy and you're lost without me?"

I nudge his shoulder.

"Go already."

With our trays in our hands, we search for empty seats, and I keep talking about that damn Lucas Sandars who ruined my life when we were in junior high. Because he actually did it. Honestly, my mom almost fell into a coma when she found out that her seven-year-old son was a criminal. And I could do it for a long time, only here...

"I'll kill her."

I freeze. Liam looks the same way I do and whispers a barely audible "Oh." Yeah, oh. Oh great. Harry is sitting at a table a few feet away with his book, a can of soda, a glass of coffee and... Eleanor. Eleanor in mini-skirt-cleavage-twisting-a-strand-of-hair-on-her-finger-and-undressing-you-with-my-eyes mode. Yes, even a blind man will notice that she is gluing him. I know these manners from miles away. She used them on me so many times when she wanted to go from "fuck-a-night" to "regular fuck-a-night." I'm going to explode. We walk up to them, and I set my tray down loudly on the table, looking straight at her.

"Am I bothering you?"

She jumps up and smiles brightly again.

"Oh, Lou..."

Only here Harry interrupted her sharply. And I swear to God, I'd like nothing more than to film this moment.

"Not at all. Eleanor was just telling me that she can make me come a lot harder than you can."

I raise an eyebrow, keeping my eyes on her, and see every cell in her face decaying.

"Really?"

"My word of honor. I said I wasn't interested, "he shrugs and stands up. "I have to go, the lecture is in five minutes. Will you come tonight?"

"Of course."

He gives me a quick kiss on the lips, waves to Liam and Eleanor, and fuck, I love him. I watch him leave the cafeteria, then turn my attention to them. Obviously, I was used to Harry's behavior. But it seems to be new to them. Eleanor is pale and red at the same time, and Liam bites his fist to keep from laughing. And me? I'm just amused by this situation. I know I should be mad that a hot girl like Eleanor (because yes, I hate her with all my heart, but she's far from ugly) is trying to take my boyfriend, but I trust him completely. I didn't doubt for a second that he would send her to hell. Yes, I admit I've thought of a thousand and one ways to kill her, but I wasn't worried. So yeah, it's pretty funny. It is not every day that she is rejected by guys, and even less often humiliated. But Harry didn't even have that thought, he just said what he thought. And damn it, it was just phenomenal, and I can't help but enjoy the moment.