The Degradation (translation)

Chapter 21

Louis' pov

Three days ago, Harry was sent for compulsory treatment to a psychiatric hospital on the south side of London. I have been forbidden to see him for three days. They say that if everything goes well I will be allowed to see him in a week, but I have no idea what their "good" means. I'm going crazy because they don't tell me anything, they don't explain anything. If this goes on, I'll need a hospital myself.

His father said Carla had Bastard because he didn't have time to deal with him. I'm on my way to pick him up. This is Harry's dog, and if they think that anything related to Harry will be away from me, then let them think again. This is our dog.

She opens the door and, as soon as she sees me on the threshold, immediately takes me in her arms. I try not to put too much pressure on her huge belly. I like Carla, really. She looks at me sadly, which is a little comforting, because she's not a member of Harry's family either, but she's also worried about him. She was his friend, his only friend.

"How are you?"

I shrug.

"They forbid me to see him."

"I know, me too."

I take two steps and Bastard pounces on me. Not just happy, as before, but rather desperate, as if he really missed him very much and was afraid that they would not come back for him. Carla's husky runs out after him. Bastard is fine here, he has a friend and all that, but the fact that he's still happy to see me and wants to be with me calms me down. At least someone wants to. Carla brings the tea and starts talking. She says something about giving birth, that she and her fiance still don't want to know the sex of the baby, but it makes it harder to buy clothes, and so on. We don't touch on the subject of that night. All she knows is that I found Harry, and I'm very grateful that she doesn't try to find out more. I answer a couple of times and nod, but I'm not here. To be honest, I don't know if I'm anywhere at all.

"My door is always open."

"What?"

I turn my attention to her. She knew I wasn't listening, but I was so tired I didn't even want to make excuses.

"If you need to talk, you can come at any time, even in the middle of the night. My door is always open for you."

I nod my thanks to her. When she walks me to the door, she hugs me again. The day she'd asked Harry to be her child's godfather, she'd hugged him the same way.

I didn't think it would ever happen, but Bastard is sitting in the backseat of my car and I absolutely don't care if it gets it dirty or scratched. Really, I don't care about anything. I arrive at Harry's house and as soon as Bastard finds out where we are, he begins to vigorously wave his tail and fidget in place. We get out of the car in the backyard, and I close my eyes as I walk past Harry's car. It is there but he's not here.

Bastard is running around waiting for me to open the glass door, he's very excited. When I do, he runs furiously inside and looks around, sniffing every corner. He runs into the dressing room, then into the bathroom. I know what he's doing, he's looking for Harry.

"He's not here."

But he doesn't understand. I throw my jacket on the chair and, despite the fact that it's only six in the evening, fall on the bed. I watch as Bastard frantically runs from room to room, wagging his tail less and less.

"He's not here" I repeat, slapping the blanket beside me. He jumps up and curls into a ball, putting his face on my stomach and I swear, no one has ever looked at me so disappointed as he is now. "I know, I miss him too."