The Degradation (translation)

Chapter 38

Louis' pov

When I told Harry about my dream trip to the ocean with him, he suggested that I go on vacation. Of course, we're not going to the ocean. We're going to the English Channel. Then he said the word with a French accent, and I found it very sweet. We chose the city of Flocktson because it is located by the sea, as well as only two hours from London. He had never left the city before, so we did not dare to go any further.

We're on our way. And it's real. We'll see the sea. I'm so happy that I don't know how I can sit still in my seat.

In reality, everything happens so fast. A week ago, I woke up from a nightmare, and two days later, he offered me this trip. It took us several days to decide where we were going. We wanted to solve everything as soon as possible, because I couldn't wait to show him all the things I wanted so much. We didn't want to go on the weekend, thinking there would be too many tourists. So we went on Monday. Today. We couldn't find any hotels to go to with Bastard and Hope, so we had to rent a lovely little beach house.

I look forward to our arrival. Harry has been driving for a little more than half the way. We stopped twice. Once for the dogs and once for Harry. When we left London, I felt then, as Harry began to get nervous. I think it was at that moment that he realized that he was leaving his hometown for the first time. Then I told him to park the car to calm him down. We rested by the highway for about an hour. We were in no hurry, we had a lot of time. We were sitting on a bench, and Bastard and Hope were running around on the grass. We were talking about my nightmare. I've been trying to get back to reality all week. At first, I didn't even realize that we were going on vacation. I told him that my birthday in a dream happened with 99% accuracy with the present.

We also talked about suicide. I think it was a necessary and unavoidable topic. We should have discussed it. He understood all my fears and misgivings. He knows why I'm so afraid of it. Harry promised me that everything would be fine. He admitted to me that it was difficult for him to fight, but after a while he started. Thanks to me. Then he felt, for the first time in his life, that he was capable. He told me that I was one of the reasons why he fought and will always fight. We talked for a very long time and discussed everything that had accumulated in both our hearts. He promised me that if he felt bad, he would definitely tell me before it got too hard. He made me a promise. He promised that he would let me help him because he finally realized that no matter what was going on, no matter what was going on in his head, no matter what he was thinking, he was no longer alone.

I look at the road that looms ahead of us. This may sound as silly as a metaphor, but I feel that this is our future looming. I turn to him. He's very focused. I put my hand on his hip before turning around a little more to look at the dogs in the backseat. Hope is asleep, and Bastard is lying there looking at me. Probably hoping for a tasty morsel, because he's been silent for about ten minutes.

Maybe it was fate that put him under my wheels that night in order to be here today. I never believed in God, but now I feel blessed.

"What are you thinking?"

I answer without looking at Harry, who takes my hand and kisses it.

"About the night I accidentally ran over Bastard."

I smile.

***

The rest of the road went very well. We easily found Flockton, and thanks to the GPS easily found our house. The owner was already waiting for us. He was as pleasant as he had seemed on the phone. He stayed for five minutes to show us the property, the house itself, and wish us a good holiday. I'm totally in love with this house. There is a small kitchen connected to the living room, green plants, many paintings on the walls, which depict flowers, boats and the sea. There is also wooden furniture, a sofa and armchairs. I like it, it's very cozy. I join Harry as he puts our things on the bed.