I don't understand why he didn't leave. I don't know why he's still here. Why didn't he leave me? But at the same time, I don't want him to leave me. I was afraid, I felt lost.
All these things around me... drugs, blades. They helped me forget.
I didn't want to see him put up with me. And I just decided to relieve him of this burden.
His voice... I heard him. I wanted to talk to him and tell him he didn't have to stay here, but I couldn't. Something stopped me. It's all so messed up in my head. Why does he love me? It doesn't make sense. I'm trying to understand, but it's all so confusing. Too many thoughts, too many complicated things. My fingers hurt and I have trouble writing.
He wasn't there when I opened my eyes, no one was there. Bastard, I miss him. I want to leave the hospital, but I'm afraid. At least I can't do anything wrong here.
Dad came in. I couldn't even open my eyes. I didn't want to see the disappointment in his eyes.
I dreamed of a cemetery. But I don't want to die, I don't want to be buried. I don't want people coming to my grave. I don't want Louis to spend his nights in the cemetery like I do. I don't want anyone to bring me flowers at my grave.
I don't know why I am writing this. I don't know anything. I feel empty. I don't understand anything. Nothing.
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The Degradation (translation)
FanfictionI was the real stereotype of the ideal life. Yeah, damn stereotypes. And then I met him. With his green eyes, with his weirdness... And with his illness. "What would you do if you only had 100 days to live?" - Anonymous "I don't know. Probably wou...
