The Degradation (translation)

Harry's Diary 6

Dear diary,

Mom kept her promise, she came back. It's been two weeks, and I still can't believe she's really here. Louis came back to me, too, and I haven't been this happy in a long time, I haven't touched anything in ten days. No blades, no drugs. Mom acts like she's really happy to spend time with me. She just adores Louis. Of course, she adores him, it is impossible not to adore him. She doesn't seem to be drinking anymore, which is great. I spend all my time with her, because I know she'll be leaving soon, even though she promised to stay for at least a month. Then she will go to India for work-to restore some ancient temple.

One night Louis asked me why I didn't travel with her when I was on vacation. It was hard for me to explain, but he understood. He always understands. He said that one day we would go on a trip together, and I want to believe that this is true, I want to believe that I can.

I try to calm down, not to be too happy about my mother's arrival, because when she leaves, it will be very difficult for me, but I can't do it. I really want her to enjoy being with me. I want to seem normal to her so much that for the first time in a long time, I take all my medications at the specified time. It's hard to admit, but they do work. I'm happy. Or maybe it's just because Mom's here. That Louis is here. Maybe I just forgot what it's like to be an optimist.

But my father, as always, is behaving like a bastard. I've seen him for about ten minutes since my mother arrived, and he doesn't even spend the night at home. He does everything he can to avoid her, and I hate him for it. My mother told me that she has a boyfriend and that they have been together for two years. This is the first I've heard of him. I'm sure deep down she still loves my father, and if he wasn't such a stubborn asshole, he could have her back. But no, of course he's too proud for that. She was right to leave him. It's his fault.

I have to go, today my mother invited me to a restaurant, she wants to announce something very important to me. I hope she's decided to stay here forever.

- H.