The Gay Project

4.2

~continued from last chapter~

Louis woke up to the sound of thunder, shooting up in bed and taking a breath. He checked the clock, frowning as he saw that it was around eight in the evening. He grunted and slowly got out of bed, hearing the faint sound of a shower running. He sighed and made his way out of his room. He knocked on the bathroom door and then peered in, seeing Harry's clothes on the floor.

"Harry," he said softly, stepping into the bathroom and taking a breath. He was so tired of fighting with the man. He missed him so much, and he just wanted his attention.

Harry slid open the glass door of the shower, surprised to see Louis. "Oh," he muttered as he saw an unfamiliar, very large sweater on Louis's tiny frame. "Where did that come from?"

Louis was confused, still half asleep, looking down at the sweater. "Oh," he mocked, frowning. "I .. Well, you know cabs make me uncomfortable. Ashton .. he rode with me. I didn't have a jacket. It's.. Harry. Don't give me that look."

"Why didn't you call me?" Harry asked before closing the shower door back, feeling highly annoyed with Louis.

"I .. don't know, Harry. I was going to. He distracted me. Don't you try to turn the cheating thing on me when you've been sneaking around-"

"Going to therapy."

There was a pause.

"What?" Louis breathed.

The door pushed back open and Harry gave Louis a cold look, not wanting to have this conversation at the moment but, knowing it was already out, he had to.

"I've been going to therapy, Louis. To try to work on myself, to be better. For you," Harry announced, and Louis felt dead stupid, and ashamed.

"Oh," he whispered. "Harry.. what? Why didn't you just tell me?"

"That's not an easy thing to 'just tell'. I tried telling you a few times but it always seemed like you had too much of your own stuff going on, and then you were accusing me of cheating. You weren't there when I needed you, and I was okay with it. But I wasn't there when you wanted me, and I'm suddenly cheating? I just.. it's been hard to tell you. It didn't feel like you deserved to know after that," Harry said, turning off the water. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, stepping out and sighing. "I just.. haven't been ready to tell you. And I was, today, and you were getting in a cabbie with someone else and now you're in his clothing. I did not immediately accuse you of cheating, Louis, but that's... that's too far. Especially when I'm your boyfriend, we live together, I have a car, and I have lots of sweaters."

Louis felt the guilt washing over him. "Harry.. I'm.. I'm sorry. Please, forgive me. I didn't mean to accuse you of anything, I just got worried when you weren't spending time with me."

"So you went to someone else for attention," Harry said easily.

"I ... yes," Louis admitted. "But - Harry. We both are taken. Ashton and I - we .. We just have conversations, good ones, because we are friends. We know it would never progress."

"Ashton is a big reason we started this," Harry said quietly. "You wanted Ashton. You wanted to be confident with yourself, and then you were going to tell Ashton how you felt."

Louis felt his shoulders drop. He was dreading this moment, feeling like Harry was about to break up with him, and it was scary.

"Harry, I fell in love with you," Louis countered, moving towards Harry, who shook his head. "Harry - seriously. You cannot hold that against me. I did have feelings for Ashton, but they are gone."