Mommy

451 13 12

by MerHayes_Mariska

by MerHayes_Mariska

Cormac's POV:
I was at the nurses station with Austin because his school has conferences today and I can't go so he was hanging out with me. Meredith and I aren't talking but I still love her. I still look at her when she walk's by me, I watch her when she works on peds cases, I miss her.

Austin was sitting in one of the nurses chairs when Meredith walks near us with Deluca and a coffee. Austin looks at me and then gets up and runs to Meredith. I sigh "Austin bud, come here."

Meredith's POV:
I haven't spoken to Cormac or the boys since before I left the hospital. I had a miscarriage and I just couldn't talk to them. Austin was at the hospital today I saw him earlier with cormac but I don't know why because he has school. I was working with Deluca today on a case. I got coffee and then was meeting him at the nurses station. I'm not on bed rest anymore but I'm supposed to be taking it slow and being mindful on my incision.

I walk towards the nurses station where I see Deluca. "Hey." He says greeting me with a hug. "Hello." I reply we start to walk to the elevator when Austin runs up to me hugging me. Austin slams his head into my belly which hurt bad. As his head meets my belly I gasp and lean forward a little but try not to make it a big deal. "Hey buddy!" I say obviously hurt. "Mer are you okay?" Deluca asks. I nod. "MerMer please come over again." He says as Cormac walks over to us. "Austin you have to be careful remember her belly?" Cormac says pulling Austin away from me. "I'm sorry about that." He says looking at me. I smile "it's okay." I bend down so I'm eye level with Austin. "I'll see you around okay bud?" I say standing back up turning to Deluca "Mer?" Austin yells as I walk away. I turnt around on my heels. "Hmm?" I ask. "Uh- I-is- are- is the baby still in your belly?" He asks. I stop I don't want to be rude or make Austin feel bad. I look up at Cormac who doesn't look happy or even okay he looks very tired. Bags under his eyes, pale, he doesn't have that sparkle or smile he used to. I bend back down. "Uh no buddy. Not anymore." I say fighting back tears. "Mer meet me up there." Deluca says walking to the elevator I lightly nod. Austin runs over to me and wraps his arms around my neck. "I miss you mommy." He says as a tear rolls from his face to my shoulder. I sigh as a tear escapes my eye "I miss you too." I reply. Hugging him back. "You know we don't hate you. You can can still come say hi." Cormac says looking at the ground trying to hide the fact that he was crying too. "Cormac I think we should talk." I reply he nods. "Okay..." he says waiting for me to give more information. " I-I- how's lunch sound?" I suggest he nods and looks at me "fine." As his eyes meet mine I see the sparkle again, the life. He looked happy for those few moments our eyes locked. "Austin buddy I have work." I say still hugging him. "You used to call me your boy." Austin says crying. I really don't want to end up crying in the middle of the hospital but at this point that inevitable. Cormac looks at me crying. "You're still my boy." I say kissing Austin's head. "No im not you don't like us anymore." Austin protests. I sigh as I start to cry. "We-we can talk now if that works better for you.." I say to Cormac "yeah uh I don't have anything so.. whenever." He replies. "Austin Hayes I love you." I say to him. He shakes his head no. "Come on want to go eat something or have some hot chocolate?" I ask. He nods his head yes. I stand taking his hand. I throw my coffee away so I can text Andrew and tell him what's happening. I text him and tell him to do it without me that I can't make it.

We go outside to the coffee cart where I buy coffee for Cormac and I and then I buy Austin a hot chocolate. I walk over to an empty table. Cormac sits across from me and Austin sits in the middle of us. "Cormac..." I say he's not looking at me. "Look at me." I continue he turns and looks at me. "You said that when we were in the on call room I was crying and upset and couldn't look at you and then you wiped a tear from my face and said look at me and then you kissed me." He says. I tilt my head. Austin was in his phone completely not paying attention to anything that was happening. "Mhm." I reply. He's still looking at me. "Meredith I miss you. I miss you coming up behind me while I do the dishes sloping your hands on my hips and hugging me. I miss our cuddles, I miss talking about our house, I miss you sitting in the passengers seat of my car. I miss your smile. Please." He says I start crying again. "Mer I never meant to hurt you." He continues. I smile. "I know. You didn't hurt me I just needed some time. I needed some time to process everything. I miss you too." I respond. "Austin asked for you last night. He was sleeping in my bed because he had a dream and wanted you." Cormac says I smile "that boy always has a dream" Cormac laughs as I say this. "Every night." He says I nod taking a drink of my coffee. "Meredith, I love you. Even if we aren't a couple. I love you and I always will."

AUTHORS NOTE:
Oh no! What happened? You'll probably get a lot of updates today because I'm in a good writing place. Um sorry because you probably hate me right now.