Chapter 54

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His grip around my body tightened as if he couldn't believe he had just uttered those words out loud.

I could already feel tears welling up in my eyes, but I quickly blinked them away before he could notice.

"You don't have to do this, Nathaniel," I whispered softly, regretting my decision.

As much as I wanted him to continue—to let me in, I didn't want to force this out of him. He's spent years bottling up these emotions, carrying this heavy burden alone as he walked blindly through the dark. I knew this was far from easy from him, trusting someone else with something so personal, something he's spent eight long years trying to avoid thinking about yet, here he is, trying to open up—for me—for us.

Nathaniel brushed my lips with the pad of his thumb and continued as if I never said anything.

"My mother, Isabella, was everything to me, but I'm sure Nonna already told you how close we were."

My eyes widened in surprise at his knowledge, and when I opened my mouth to lie to protect me and Nonna's secret, he leaned forward and gently pressed his lips against mine for a fraction of a second before pulling away.

"I already know Anastazi," he murmured, trailing his fingers up and down my thigh. "I just don't know how much she told you."

"I didn't mean to intrude—"

Nathaniel gripped my chin and forced me to look up into his crystal eyes, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"I'm not angry amore mio; I just don't know where to start."

I let out a breath of relief and nodded. "Tell me more about Isabella; what was she like?"

I wanted him to recall the happy memories he had with her, not the ones that turned him into the man I met when I first started working for him.

Pain flashed through Nathaniel's dark eyes as he thought of what to say next, contemplating if he should even continue.

"You don't have to do this," I whispered again, feeling my chest tighten as I watched him struggle to begin, but, once again, he ignored my words and sucked in a deep breath before continuing.

"My mother was what most people would consider perfect. The perfect wife, daughter, mother, sister, and friend. All she ever wanted to do was make the world a better place—a happier place, and she did. She helped open up numerous orphanages, homeless shelters, rehab centers, and so much other shit I lost count of over the years."

I could feel Nathaniel's hands beginning to tremble on my body as he recalled his mother's memories, and it wasn't until I placed my hand on his cheek again when the trembling subsided.

"Whenever she had free time, which was usually on the weekends, she'd spend that time painting which varied from abstract art to portraits. When I was young, I always remembered waking up to the smell of paint fumes in the morning instead of breakfast which would drive Luther and me mad, but in the end, neither of us had the guts to tell her, so we just had to suck it up and let her be."

Nathaniel sighed heavily and flipped around on his back, tucking his hands behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling. I shifted closer to him and placed my head on his chest before wrapping my arm and leg around his body.

"Things were different back then," he continued, the sound of his voice vibrating against my ear. "We were happy."

I swallowed hard as I thought about the next question I wanted to ask, and when I opened my mouth to speak, my throat suddenly felt dry as if someone shoved a million cotton balls down it.

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