𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞✧𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐝

thirty

—⊱┊MICHAEL LAMAR WHITE

"man fuck all y'all niggas." i threw the headset across my room and turned off the game. this shit was supposed to help me but all it was doing was making me more mad.

i don't even know why i'm mad, it's not like she gave me a reason to be. the trust issues ayleks gave me are really showing out right now i guess. i told myself i wasn't never gonna trip over no bitch again.

i lit another blunt, but put it right down when i heard knocking on my front door.

"fuck off! ain't no one here!" i yelled as loud as i could, then i could just hear the door open.

"niggas just letting themselves in i guess." i muttered, figuring it was kentrell or something. i dragged myself out of room and looked over the top of the stairs. i saw bre shutting the door behind her.

"no one here huh?" she giggled and came up the stairs.

"ain't you supposed to be with kentrell and jah?" i looked at her with a straight face.

"bruh, what's wrong?" her expression dropped and she looked at me like she was concerned.

"nothing." i sighed and walked back into my room. she followed behind me and picked up the headset on the floor.

"apparently somethings wrong, i ain't dumb" she set it down on the table, i scoffed and sat down on my bed.

"babe i'm serious, you were saying i'm the one acting weird. meanwhile you acting like this." she frowned and got up on my lap. i'm not really in the touchy typa mood but i'm not gonna push her off or nothing.

"i wasnt thinking when i did all that shit." i sighed, "i mean, i gotta graduate at a whole ass new school. i cant even set foot on that school now over some dumbass shit."

"on top of that, i been putting stress on you, not even thinking about it. i just— i don't know. we just too different. you're too good for me, too smart." i finished explaining.

"michael..." she held my face and looked at me for a second.

"i get it, but everyone makes mistakes. you just gotta learn from them. and i'm not too good for you, that's dramatic. relationships aren't gonna be perfect, we just gotta work through it." she smiled a little after she said the last part.

"well these mistakes getting to be too much, that's what jah and kentrell said anyway. i'm just worried that if i keep fucking up you're gonna leave." i explained.

more that i think of it, thank god she came here. at first i wasn't too happy about it but, it shows she cares.

"you're not gonna lose me. i was being insensitive and i was saying shit out of fear and anger." she insisted. i nodded my head out of relief and put my arms around her, i leaned my head on her shoulder and just sat there. ion really feel like talking, just thinking.

the reason i even got into this shit, fighting, fucking tons of hoes, all that dumb shit, was because i felt i had to keep up this name for myself. my ego basically took over and i just wanted to have this superiority complex over all these other niggas.

then ayleks cheated on me, was sad for a while. then i realized i was never that in love with her anyway. i loved the idea of her and what she could be. i never loved any of her actual qualities besides her looks.