Haven (Paul Lahote Fanfiction)

Apart

Paul's Point Of View.

Why? Somebody tell me why she was being so distant? Why was she avoiding me? Why was she pushing me away? I tried to comfort her, to ask her what was wrong but she only pushed me farther away. I was sure something bad had happened, something that changed the way she looked at me. I wanted to ask her what it was but i didn't want to pressure her in any way. It is visible that she is in a constant state of tension and i didn't want to add to her stress.

"Paul, focus." Sam's demanding Alpha voice rang loud and clear in my head. "Yeah, sorry." I said instantly. It was disturbing enough that i had to share my thoughts with the pack, but it was more annoying when i was reminded of it. I made a mental note to go see Lexi after patrol was over.

I went to her house after my shift and took a deep steady breath when i reached her front door. I could hear voices inside and confusion washed over me. Nevertheless, I knocked.

"Paul." She said in horror when she opened the front door and took in my presence. It was a knife in my heart, her voice so lifeless. I tore my eyes away from her and looked inside the house. A couple of men were inside, two were painting the remaining unpainted walls and the other were taking measurements and installing curtains. "Who are they?" I asked. "Just some construction people i called over for completing the house." I nodded my head. She stepped out and closed the door behind her.

"Did you need something?" She asked, her voice as blank as ever. "Yeah, you." I said without thinking. She closed her eyes briefly and inhaled a sharp breath. It made me nervous. What the fuck was happening? I was never nervous. "Paul, I...... I can't" She stopped. "You can't what?" I prompted. "I can't do this anymore" She said in a small voice. "Can't do what anymore?" I asked, my voice hitching. "This." She gestured with her fingers the small distance between us which suddenly felt like a million kilometres. "What?" I stammered. "You're breaking up with me?" I asked, like every other idiot in sappy teen drama love stories, but i couldn't help it, I had to be sure. I fought the tears that threatened to spill. I had not cried in so long, I certainly was not going to do it now. She nodded her head glumly, her gaze fixed on the ground.

She looked up, "I'm really sorry. I am really thankful for everything that you have done for me, you saved my life." Her eyes were shiny with tears. If she was sad then why was she doing this? "I don't care about that, I love you! You're my fucking im-" She flinched. I held myself back. I was shaking violently and i was gonna phase. It had to stop. I took a deep breath. "Why?" I asked again. "I just can't, Paul. You won't understand it." I shook my head, "Try me." She held up her hands "Because i don't want you fucking le-" she stopped abruptly. "Sorry. Im sorry." She shook her head violently, turned on her heel and walked back to her house.

It felt as if my knees were going to give out. I was going to die. I felt like maybe I should die. I walked in a heartbroken daze to the forest behind her house and phased. I did not care about my clothes or my shoes or my life. I howled. I let it all out out.

"Shit." I heard Seth mutter in my head. "Man I-" Jared trailed off. I was running as fast as my paws could take me. I was feeling breathless and dizzy. Did she not love me back? Was this Imprint love only one-sided. When will i see her again. We had not even been as intimate as two lovers are. I did not wanna rush her. When will I see her laugh? I turned around and ran back to her house.

When i reached the edge of the woods behind her house, I slowed and scanned every bare window visible. I spotted her in her room. Her head against the wall, shoulders shaking, fingers wiping at her eyes. The she braced herself and took a few steps forward, out of my sight.

"Paul-"I heard Jared say. "What." I growled, turning and running deeper into the trees. "It's gonna be okay." He said. I wanted to tear the shit out of him with my bare teeth. But instead, I collapsed, my breath getting fainter.