Haven (Paul Lahote Fanfiction)

Peine d'amour

I held the bag in my hand, knowing that it was full of stuff that Emily would appreciate. I could hear voices inside, primarily Sam's stern tone. In an instant, it all hushed down, just as I was about to press the bell.

I think they sensed me, so I heisted before I let my finger touch the button. In a second the front door was open, and Emily stood there with a concerned look on her face. She gave me a wane smile, before letting me in. "How was your trip?" She asked. The boys starting speaking again, but not as loud as it was earlier. I stood with Emily in her foyer.

"It was good, thanks. Am I disrupting a pack meeting or something?" I asked.

Emily gave me a look. "We were waiting for you to show up."

"Why is that?" I gave a small laugh and handed her the bag. "I got you somethings from France." I said.

"Oh, that's so sweet! She spoke with surprise, but I could tell her mind was somewhere else. "Have you spoken with Paul recently?" She asked. It was rather abrupt. We walked further into her house. "Yeah, just this morning, before he left."

"He left?" She repeated.

And just then I saw Paul entering Emily's drawing room, shirtless and damp from the rain. He was clearly coming back from the forest, Seth and Embry behind him.

He lied to me.

His eyes met mine.

"What going on?" I asked the room, but my gaze was pinned on him. Sam, Jake, Leah and Quil, they were all there. Embry and Seth too.

"What do you mean?" Leah asked.

"Do you not know?" Embry scoffed. I still only looked at Paul, trying to see a message in his eyes. That I was misunderstanding something, that he didn't lie to me.

"No. I am clearly not aware of what's got all of you so tensed." I almost yelled. Paul's gaze turned apologetic as he moved towards me, his hand grabbed my waist, and he pulled me to him, pressing me flush against his body. His other hand reached up and held my chin, so gently yet so dominantly. "Let's talk outside." He said.

Emily had a small shed near her house, and we stood under its roof on the porch, the rain drizzling around us.

"What going on, Paul?" I asked in confusion. He still hadn't removed his hand from my waist. "It's not a big deal." He searched my face, but not once did he meet my eyes. His hand came to rest on the small of my back.

"Thats not an answer! Why did you lie to me?" I said harshly.

"A vampire attack. Tomorrow." His gaze finally reached me. What I saw was fear. I had never seen Paul scared.

"How do you know it?" I wrapped my hands tightly around his biceps.

"Alice Cullen. The vampire who can look into the future, she saw it. We're all just preparing ourselves." I pushed my self away from him. He reached for me again, as if he wanted to keep me as close as possible.

"How many Vampires?" I stepped back, and I heard my voice crack.

"Nothing that we can't handle, and they are not here for the people. Why are you crying, Alexandra?" When he extended himself to me again, I let him. He locked his arms around me, as if I might run away. I put my hands on his bare chest, and looked up at him through my lashes.

"Because you lied to me. And you're still lying to me, and I have a feeling you may die." I said fiercely, bluntly. A moment passed, then another. I waited for him to tell me I was wrong. He didn't. A part of me regretted jumping to that conclusion without much context. But a part of me did not regret putting the cruel truth out there.

I pushed at his chest so hard, he took a step back. Tears streamed down my face freely. I did not care.

"I absolutely cannot believe you!" I screamed. "You told me," I pointed a finger at him, my breath ragged. "That you would never leave me!" I staggered another step back. His shoulders bunched up, and a muscle in his jaw flexed. He did not speak.

"All of you," I pointed in the direction of where all the other wolves were gathered, "Are going on a suicide mission! What in the world for? Tell me!" I screamed.

"Renesmee. Jake's imprint. They're here for her, and it is our duty to protect her."

Something stirred inside me. "Paul," I said softly, sadness engulfing me. I was being stranded. "I am no one special. I am not a miracle, and I am not supernatural. Its overwhelming enough to accept the fact that my boyfriend is a werewolf. That I have an actual soulmate." I took a shaky breath, "You don't know what its like, Paul. To have everyone you love die one after the other. To live in fear of who may be next. To come to terms with the thought that maybe I am destined to be alone, abandoned."

I stepped closer to him, and I observed his eyes were glimmering. I didn't feel anything "I have come to realise that I cannot prevent you from doing right by your people, to prevent you from not fulfilling your duty." Another step nearer. "What I can do," My hand reached for the promise ring he had gifted to me. "Is protect myself from this heartbreak." I heard Paul draw in a ragged breath, and he closed his eyes for a moment.

I slipped the band off my finger, the metal was warm from my skin. The wind picked up its pace, pushing my now damp hair in my face. I extended my arm to give him the ring. He looked into my eyes. I saw deep pain, uncensored dismay and plain agony in his expression. But for some reason I could not feel any emotions. It was like my heart had died. When his palm did not come up to accept the token of his promises, his love, I dropped it. It fell with a soft pang, and a dull thud, on rain-soaked wood. I turned and stepped out from under the roof of the porch, into the drizzling shower. The cool water on my unstable limbs felt like a blessing. I was in a million pieces.

His hated palm wrapped around my wrist, and he turned me, so I faced him. "I love you, Alexandra. Till the end of time." I could not look at his beautiful face again, not for any second longer.

"Then let me go. Please."