Nothing Else Matters - Perrie Edwards

Chapter Forty Four

Perrie's POV:

I climbed back into bed as slowly as I could with my cuppa, trying my hardest not to wake Bear up, sighing with relief when he slept on.

I'd woken up about once every hour in the night making sure he was okay. It must've been my imagination, or a dream, but I kept thinking he was in pain. It was a good job I'd cancelled rehearsals because I was knackered. I sat watching him, letting my brew go cold in my hands.

Last night I'd told him he'd saved my life the day I'd met him, and he'd got all weird and nervous again. But it was true. I know how hard it sounded but it was true. He came in that room at the signing, and I'd never seen someone look so much like they wanted to run away from me. He looked like he was there by accident. And after that I could barely stop thinking about him. This painfully shy, scared boy who I'd decided to follow on Instagram... even before I had met him for the first time there'd been something. I'd find myself thinking about him at weird times... before I went to sleep, in the studio with the girls... and now he was my boyfriend.

I'd never been so drawn to a person in my life before I'd met Bear. Not even him. And after the break-up, I was getting ready to pack up and get out. The album, the tour, then I was done. I was fed up. I was so sick of acting with everyone. I was pretending all the time; I was telling everyone I was fine now, and I was over it when I wasn't because I didn't know how to get over it.

But I'd never done that with Bear. I never had to because I knew he'd know. I knew he'd been doing the same thing for most of his life, and I found myself just being myself with him from the start, because something told me if I was unresponsive with him too, I'd lose him before I really had him. And he helped me, without even knowing it.

It still felt weird getting into a new relationship. But it was a good weird. I thought I loved my ex – I did love him – but I loved Bear more. You always think you love the person you're with more than it's possible, then someone else comes along and makes you feel it a thousand times stronger. I loved Bear so much. In fact if I thought about it too much it made me dizzy. If he woke up now and asked me to move to Iceland with him and never come back, I'd probably do it.

Because that's something else, I trusted him. Maybe not in the stay-away-from-your-psycho-ex territory... but I trusted him. I'd never thought I'd trust anyone ever again after my ex sledgehammered that part of me. But I know Bear would never do that to me. He didn't have it in him to hurt another person with what he'd been through.

Just as I turned around to put my cold cuppa down, he stirred. I sat up slowly, holding my breath.

"Pez?" He whispered.

"Yeah babe?"

He opened his eyes and smiled a little. "Just checking. Morning."

"Morning handsome." I kissed his cheek and lay on the pillow beside him. "How are you?"

"Okay... what time is it?"

"About quarter to nine."

"Have you been awake long?"

"Yeah, I got up to feed the fox."

Jakob's eyes snapped wide open. "What?!"

"Kidding!"

"Perrie, bloody hell!" He laughed.

"Sorry... I meant to say the dog. Obviously. And I got up about half an hour ago."

"And you didn't bring me a brew." He winked.

"Well it'd be cold now wouldn't it! I'll get you one in a minute. Did you sleep okay?"