It's all about Black (10 mates) - Finished

Chapter 56: Airport

Chapter 56: Airport

Miley's POV:

"I can't" I told him bluntly as my mind took me back in time to memories from my time here, my time with them. I was happy, wasn't I? He looked at me dissaprovingly "what are you so afraid of?", the answer to that question was easy, that was the reason i left. "Losing myself".

The one that met them is not the one who left them. That is reality, I changed, I was so hopeful and so adventures. I am not sure how or when, but i lost myself underway.

Thinking of myself i see a little girl in a white dress trying to reach myself on the highest shelf, but it doesn't matter what I do, it is always too far away. I can jump and stand on a chair, but the closest i get is brushing it with my fingertips.

I want badly to take it down, but i cant, i cant grab it, it will not let me. I can barely even see it. When i touch it i fell a little happiness in me, i feel myself for a second, but eventually i have to let go, because i can't stand on my toes all day.

It is exhausting pretending to be something i am not anymore, the old me is present, but how can i let go of someone, when i have nothing new to grab onto. The new me i am not yet ready to create. So now i find myself inbetween, the old and new me.

How did it come this far, I lived the fairytale, but the fairytale was about 10 guys, their brother and me, a love story i presume. A story about how we all got along and how we together magically brought their brother back to live and then we all happily lived happy ever after.

But it was only me, maybe if I had let them help me, let them know what was going on, we could. But i was scared.

Fear. The only thing that really destroys a person from inside and out. Am i really to blame for all of this, all of it? that we split, Octa... doesn't matter what his name is, Rochelle, the necklace. Everything.

I feel so confused and so alone.

I looked out the window and saw as the forest took over everything. "You are making a mistake, You need them" he said from beside me, as if i needed to hear that now. "I don't care" I hissed back at him, the driver turned and gave me a wondering look, he looked concerned... but i am talking to an unseen person, so who can blame him.

As he turned his head again to the road, i looked over at Maxi "I am going home whether you like it or not" I whispered annoyed and glared at him. "But you love them, you miss them already" he kept going like he had no shame.

"Just leave me alone" i stared out the window avoiding any contact with Maxi that would make me turn around. "I can't, i am just a part of your imagination, i am just telling you what you are feeling, and running away is not the answer and you know that".

The worst part is that I knew. I knew he wasn't here, it didn't feel the same, but the illusion felt so good. He wasn't there, he was gone... But i refused to let him go completely - i just couldn't. I guess that is why i held so tight onto the illusion of him, the thought of having him around.

Somehow it kept me san holding on to a dead person, sickening, right?

I could feel Maxi's eyes stare into the back of my head, i troed hard to ignore it, but it was no use, i felt it as if he was looking into my soul, which he technically was. "You have to let go eventually, i will not come back" he said "you will only end up getting more hurt".

Anger was rising in me as the loss became sadness which became pure anger. "You dont know anything about pain!!!! You are dead!" i yelled at him "just let me be, you died!!" i was shaking out of anger, tears spilled from my eyes.

The capdriver stopped the taxa, he turned around and looked at me with worry clear in his eyes. He was young, between 25 and 30, he must really be thinking the worst of me.

"You okay sweetheart?" he asked sounding so innocent. Maxi faded away beside me, leaving me alone, this was what i wanted and still it felt so wrong. Unsure if my voice would crack i just answered with a nod and wiped the tears away with my arm.

As expected he didn't believe me, who can believe a nod, when the evidence of new tears was so obvious. He kept his eyes on me, observing me closely with concern, like i needed it.

"Do you want me to call someone?" he asked concerned, i shook my head i dried the tears away once again, they kept coming. "Please just drive me to the airport" i begged him, surprisingly my voice didn't crack.

Without another word he took me there.

*

We reached the airport in silence, an airplane just taking off the ground, that would be me. I fumbled with my vallet trying to get these stupid dollarpapers up, "don't worry about it" he said waiving a hand as if saying, 'thats nothing'. He got out of the cap and opened my door and led me out, he dissapeared to the back and took my suitcase out.

"Thank you" i awkwardly let out and with that i walked away.

People stared at me as i made my way up the front desk, a long line formed in front of a lady. the airport was small, it was not the one i arrived at, but i guess their home was futher away than i pressumed.

Finally it became my turn, "how may i help you?" the lady said looking up from her computer. "I need to go to sweden, stockholm, soonest possible" I explained. She nodded and typed on her computer, "just you?" she asked, i nodded "yes". She looked up "there is a direct flight going later today, would you want that?", i nodded relieved.

"Your name?", i gave her my passport and saw her type down. Suddenly she looked more surprised and looked closer at my passport. "I'm sorry, it appears that you are denied access on the flight". "WHAT?". "I can't let you on any flight, please take a seat and someone will come assist you".

I grabbed my passport from her hand and stepped aside. I took a seat on the line on chairs along the wall beside an older man reading a newspaper.

Curiousity got the best of me as i took a glimpse of the backside of the newspaper. "Seeing anything you like", i shot up in surprise as the man put the newspaper down and gave me a smile.

Caught in my crime i gave him my best innocent smile "sorry, i didn't mean to...", he waved it off and smiled "oh, its fine", i smiled awkwardly.

He was a typical grandpa, bald spot on his head, wringles on his face and a permanent smile on. "So where are you going if i may ask?" he asked.

Before i could answer he looked up to see something in front of me, "excuse me miss, please follow me" a lady form the staff said, it was easy to tell she worked here, the pencil skirt, the blazer, the red lipstick, and her hair that was forced into a bun on the back of her head.

"Excuse me" i said to the elder man, "pleassure meating you" he said giving a nod in my direction as a friendly gesture, "You too".

I followed the lady to the back, she led me behind the frontdesk and into a hallway with some small rooms, i guess this was for extra checking, to check for REAL problems.

Finally she turned and stepped aside signaling i should step into the given room and closed the door after me, i looked up and my world stood still for a second.

"Mr. Black"

***

A/N yea, i am bad at updating... dont hate me!