Chasing Ghosts | Natasha Romanoff

Chapter 12: At Least There's Background Music

Natasha loved parties. She could deny it all she wanted, but she loved the alcohol and the socializing and also - when she was drunk enough - dancing. In their early Avenger years, after SHIELD fell, she had dragged Katya to a couple clubs in New York City. 

Katya liked parties too. Slow parties, like Tony's later ones. With lots of space to move and the music low enough to actually hear people. Clubs weren't her thing. It made her feel anxious. But for her girlfriend at the time, she made the occasional exception after being promised that she got something in return. 

And now, here in the same room that had been empty an hour prior, Katya suddenly understood why Natasha loved it so much. The music was loud enough, and there was enough alcohol and attractive people to drown out your thoughts. On top of that, the anonymity, if the club was dark enough. Nobody had ever known they were in the company of two Avengers, so nobody saw the group of four mingle with the partygoers now.

She really should have let Natasha drag her to clubs more.

Sam and Bucky walked around, subtly keeping an eye out for any danger. They should really stick to the shadows, since everyone believed they killed Selby. Zemo wandered off pretty quickly, and if Katya didn't know any better, he acted drunk. He wasn't though, just was a complete idiot.

She stuck with the two guys, since Sharon had disappeared to talk to her contacts to find out where this Nagel person lived. For someone who didn't want to help or wanted their help at first, she honored her deal pretty well. 

A group of women was dancing in the middle of the club, and when they walked past, Bucky gave Sam a small push that sent him into one of them. He tried hiding his smug smile, but when Sam scrambled to make an excuse, it only grew. 

''What the hell, man?'' he growled annoyed when they were out of earshot. Katya couldn't help it, she laughed. And automatically, Bucky looked at her again. And stared. And for once, she didn't let it slide and dragged him towards the bar, sitting him down on a stool. Sam watched them go with confusion.

''What?'' he sighed, not in the mood for this right now. He always looked tired of everyone's shit. However, this was a necessary talk.

''We're talking about this weird tension between us, because it is driving me nuts,'' Katya insisted, taking place on the stool next to his, turning her whole body in his direction.

''This is not the time for it.''

She frantically shook her head, waving away the bartender. ''No, this is a perfect time. We can't do anything but wait for Sharon, so you and I are talking. Now.''

Bucky rolled his eyes, looking anywhere but at her face. ''Fine. If it will get you to stop ignoring me.''

''I'm not ignoring you. You are making me uncomfortable with all that staring.'' This wasn't the way to go about it. He shut down right before her eyes. ''All I want to know is why. Why do you look at me that way?''

''What way?'' He played dumb.

''Like I'm miraculously going to solve all your problems. Like I'm a beacon of hope.''

''Because you are. At least to me.'' He quickly threw out, to her surprise and to his own. And when he realized what he said, it was impossible to go back. Giving up on the attempt to act annoyed, he gave in and finally turned his full attention on her. 

''We used to be the same. Working for the same organization, even working together. But then you got out, and you bettered your life. Joined SHIELD, protected the world, married, adopted a daughter. You are an Avenger for god's sake.'' He widely gestured towards her. ''And now I am out, but I can't get there. I can't let it go. I don't understand how you are functioning like nothing ever happened.''