Later, Sir [TsukiYama Omegaverse]

Chapter 32

[Yamagata in Yamagata Prefecture above]

Kill

Yamaguchi locked himself inside the bathroom. He opened the shower with his shaking hands. This a normal routine for Yamaguchi whenever he feels like he's out of his mind. Slowly, the freckled boy sat on the cold tiles letting the water swept all those darks thoughts about killing his own son. Yamaguchi never welcomed those thoughts. All those months that he's alone he always turn down those thoughts.

Postpartum Depression, Yamaguchi was diagnosed with it but he never let anyone know, he has no one to tell too. Well, there's no reason for him to get sad and depressed. He's the one who pushed and left the people who love and care for  him just because he is 'scared'.

Yamaguchi hugged his knees closer, clenching his fist as he heard the cries of a baby. 'It's normal, you just need to ignore him, he'll stop soon. Stay there and don't hurt your baby.' Yamaguchi whispered those to himself. This happens often since he gave birth, but he has no idea when will this depression of his came from.

His heart pounds harder and faster, his breathing is uneven. The more he hear the baby crying, the more he want to kill it. The more he thinks about killing the baby the more he loses his control. His body was stiff from forcing himself to just sit there and don't do anything. His arm was red from all the scratches his nails made.

"Stop crying. Stop crying. Stop crying." He cover his ear so that he can't hear the baby's cry. His own tears started to fall as the baby stop crying. A small smile appeared on his lips even though his whole system is falling. "Good boy, Shōichi." Yamaguchi murmured.

He himself can't understand his emotions too, one day he's all fine but when the night come he will just become sad out of nowhere. One day he's okay but then tomorrow he's fighting the urge to kill his son. Then heat will come and make him feels so hot and horny luckily, Tsukishima's pheromones on his shirt and suppressant still works or he'll gone crazy to find someone to sleep with.

Yamaguchi was drench when he walk out of the bathroom. He's staying there for about three hours calming himself. His eyes landed on his baby, sleeping on the bed peaceful his hand found his father's shirt.

All his memories about his father or even his mother was all gone that's why he didn't know what does it feel to be loved by your own parents. That's why he'll make sure that his son will feel it, but not now.

Yamaguchi changed his clothes before laying beside his son. "I'm sorry if I ever think about killing you." Yamaguchi whispered giving his son a loving touch of the person who brought him here. "I've made a mistake, I'm sorry." Yamaguchi said, his voice began to tremble as he move his head closer to the baby's cheek, rubbing the tip of his nose to Shōichi's cheeks.

"I promise, you'll grow with a complete family. Mama will fight this fear and come back to papa but not now tomorrow or next week but I know someday. He has no choice but to accept us if that day come." Yamaguchi chuckled slightly after seeing his son smile in his sleep. "You'll grow with your uncle's children and play with them, you'll enter elementary with Suga-san as your teacher. Hinata will surely teach you volleyball and Papa will teach you how to be salty like. He'll bring you in a museum and teach everything about it while me..." Yamaguchi's imagination suddenly stop. "I will... I will watch you do everything you want. Mama will always love you." He place a kiss on the baby's forehead, hugging his small body.

He look up at the moon and it immediately reminds him of Tsukishima. "Tsukki..." Yamaguchi murmured watching the moon from the window and soon fall to his son who resembles Tsukishima. "I can die happy." He said with a smile hugging the baby as a lone tear escape his eye.

•••

It was already night, the moon was completely visible. The city was lighten up by cars and lights from the buildings. It's lively. But Tsukishima's office was gloomy, the room was dark the only light can be seen is a small lamp on the side of the big office.

Tsukishima is standing in front of the big glass wall where he can see the whole city. His heart feels empty knowing that Yamaguchi is not in Miyagi and waiting for him. Hopeless, because all the information leads to nothing.

He's a mess without Yamaguchi. Without Yamaguchi, he's like a starless sky that's about to bring rainfall. Tsukishima put his right arm on his chest feeling his heart. His face shows melancholy, he's like walking man without his soul. His breathing fine but his heart ache just by the thought of Yamaguchi.

"If only you ask me first that day..." Tsukishima whispered looking at the moon. "The moon is beautiful isn't it?" Tsukishima said looking at his side, imagining that Yamaguchi is standing beside him and watching the city too, looking at him with a big smile as he pointed what he notice or catch his attention.

A smile appeared on his lips as he unconsciously reach for Yamaguchi's face only for the image of the boy vanished in front of him. His face became stoic as soon as he realize that the boy wasn't there. "If I ever found you... I won't let you run away again." Tsukishima said as he look at the moon one more time.

He walk to his desk and pick up his suit hanging it on his arm as he grab the brown envelope of reports about someone name Tadashi working in a grocery store in Yamagata. He turned off the lamp before leaving his office.

"Yamagata..." Tsukishima flipped the paper, reading all what it said there. He loosen his tie a bit. The building was dark and almost all the employees are out, some are overtime and some are night shift. His brow raised after seeing a familiar apartment name.

"I know, Hinata already went here." Tsukishima waited in front of the elevator to go up. "If you're here why did Hinata said no trace of you?" A playful smirked appeared on his lips. "Oh my, looks like our reunion will be soon. I shouldn't have be so dramatic." Tsukishima shake his head. He heard the sound of the elevator.

"Good evening, Sir." The two employees bow at him before going out. Tsukishima entered the elevator while putting the the paper inside the brown envelope. Pressing the button for the parking lot. He get his phone from his pocket and dialed his secretary's number.

"Ayaka? Sorry for disturbing your sleep but cancel all my appointments from now 'till next week." Tsukishima was about to dropped the call when he heard Ayaka panicked.

"Wait! Sir, No! Please no, Oh my god! Sir, did you already forgot that it's Mr. Sato's time to sign the contract for the new launch of our toys? He doesn't like cancelling appointments and it's so hard to get an appointment to a person like him!" Ayaka took a deep breath waiting for his boss to answer.

"So what?" Tsukishima asked looking at the numbers on top of the elevator door. "Mines more important." Tsukishima answered, his voice was full of saltiness.

"Sir, We can't launch this new toys without Mr. Sato's signature and Sir. Mr. Tsukishima, your father already prepared the plane for your flight to Osaka tomorrow night. It's just a three day business. Please reconsider your decisions." Ayaka pleaded. Tsukishima sighed, looks like their reunion needs to be postpone for a few days.

"Fine." He answered before ending the call. "Damn, just wait for three more day, Tadashi."

—For those who didn't get it.
"The moon is beautiful isn't it" means "I love you"

"I can die happy or I love you too" answers means you're accepting their love

"The star is more beautiful" means you're rejecting their love.

peachlass