Regret

6.2K 119 15
                                    

Beam's P.O.V.

I dragged my feet out of bed at the crack of down. The house was quiet everyone must be sleeping. I grabbed a hoodie, my phone and a blanket before heading outside. It was early in the morning and the sun hasn't even started to rise. I stepped into the sand dragging my feet to one of the chairs. If I cant sleep might as well watch the sunrise I thought. I was feeling sad and alone even if I was here on vacation with my friends. I let out a sigh they probably think I'm with some random girl I met at the bar. I was the first one to leave the bar what they didn't realize that instead of leaving with some girl I left alone and came back to the house. As if faith was trying to pull another joke on me though I noticed people arriving at the house next door when I arrived at the house and amongst them was the cause of my troubled heart. I let out another sigh I knew I deserved it.

It was strange feeling this way. I thought that I was happy being alone. I had everything I needed and what I didn't could be easily replaced with a one night stand. Stupid me I guess. Now after all the denial the realization finally hit me and I was left feeling alone. Everything I was running from was all that I longed for now. If only I hadn't been a coward and admitted that I was attracted to a man from the start. If I wasn't afraid of love. Maybe I would've had a chance. But it's probably too late now. Who will want me after being the Casanova for a year. Probably no one and much less him. That made my heart hurt and this strange new feeling of loneliness and sadness became even bigger and I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I just want to experience love with him. He is the only person who has ever made me feel this way. If only I had been honest with myself from the start maybe just maybe we could've been together.

The night was cold and even if the sun was starting to rise the temperature still felt the same to me. I was tired but I hadn't been able to sleep in my room. I just kept tossing and turning restlessly. But out here hearing the waves crash and watching the sun rise slowly made me drift off to sleep.

I am a heavy sleeper and usually nothing wakes me up. But I felt someone moving me. I was too tired to even open my eyes but I was more or less aware of what was happening. Im not sure how much time has passed but I'm guessing not a lot since I was still so sleepy. I didn't want to answer questions as to why I was outside at this time so I just snuggled up more into the warm chest. I didn't care who it was right now. I felt safe and warm and that's all that mattered right now.

The warm disappeared momentarily and I reached out with my hand towards it. I grabbed the arm off whoever carried me and pulled him mumbling "don't go." The person complied pulling me softly towards them and I sighed contently. I snuggled against the warm, feeling somewhat content and drifted again completely to sleep no longer feeling the need to stay somewhat aware of my surroundings. I felt safe so I trusted the person beside me fully.

Surprisingly I had the best sleep I've had in a while. I started to wake up feeling completely rested which I did not expect. I snuggled once more against the pillow not wanting to wake up. But suddenly I felt the pillow moving and I suddenly remember I was sitting outside on a chair not on a bed. I quickly opened my eyes to see that I was sleeping on top of someone. Scared I looked up to see Forth which surprised me even more. He was waking up and I noticed that I was sleeping on top of him with one of my legs tangled against his.

"Good morning." Mumbled Forth loosening his tight grip on my waist. I made some distance between us moving to the untouched left side of the big bed. I felt my cheeks heat up and I just looked at Forth helplessly. I was feeling way too confused. What is even happening here? I was sitting outside in the sand restless and feeling lonely and now I'm in bed with Forth after sleeping soundly. Is this some kind of dream? I was lost in my thoughts when I noticed Forth waving his hand in front of my face. I turned my attention to him and he looked worried.

Forth Beam short stories 2Where stories live. Discover now