Chasing you (part 16)

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Forth's P.O.V.

I left the beach while Beam was still running from Kit. I was feeling tired not only physically but emotionally. Thankfully nobody said anything as I walked away and Beam didn't seem to notice. I made it back to the house and instantly went to my room. I just threw myself in the bed. This isn't working I can't keep up with this I thought. I managed to fall asleep quickly.

I woke up to the feeling of someone stroking my hair. I instantly knew who it was. I slowly opened my eyes to see Beam sitting next to me.

"Hey!" I said not moving I was still tired.

"Pha said you had a headache why didn't you say anything to me?" He asked. I made a mental note to thank Phana later.

"It was just a small headache I'm feeling fine after the nap." I said sitting up on the bed.

"Next time say it to me. I could've brought you some pain killers or I would've come with you." He said and I shook my head.

"It's fine, I'm fine." I said and Beam sighed.

"It's time for dinner are you heading down?" He asked and I nodded.

"Yeah go ahead I'll be down in a minute." I said walking to the bathroom. When Beam was gone I splashed my face with some water. I waited for a minute before going down.

"We are having pizza for dinner is almost here." Said Phana and I nodded.

"Thank you." I said and I didn't have to say anything else for him to understand. He just patted my back.

"Any time." He said before walking away. 

I went to the living room and sat down next to Beam who instantly moved closer to me. The pizza arrived and we all started eating. After that we started drinking in the living room. Beam was drinking more than usual so I decided to stay a little sober. I was drinking but I wasn't trying to get drunk. As the night passed we ran out of beer. Ming and Kit left to buy some more and Phana and Wayo decided to take a walk at the beach. It was just me and a almost passed out Beam. I picked him up deciding to take him to his room he was already way too drunk.

"Why are you picking me up?" He said giggling.

"You're drunk." I said.

"I'm notttt. I wanna drink moreeee. I need it today." He said and I shook my head no.

"No, I'm taking you to your room. Party's over for you." I said and he started trying to get out of my grip.

"Nooo there's still something I want to dooo." He said and I sighed.

"Bee let's just go to sleep is been a tiring day." I said and he just nodded staying quiet. I made it to his room and put him down on the bed. Before I could even think about leaving he grabbed my hand.

"Can you stay with me." He said and I sat down facing him.

"What's wrong?" I asked and he looked at me in the eye. For a second there he seemed scared.

"Forth." He said sitting down facing me when he didn't continue I was confused. As I was about to ask him again he kissed me leaving me surprised. This time instead of kissing him back I pulled away and he seemed hurt.

"Forth..." he said almost unheard but I had reached my breaking point.

"No! Don't you even dare say anything!" I said standing up from the bed making some distance.

"Let me explain." He said but I stopped him.

"I don't even want to hear you anymore. Don't you dare say this was a mistake. Or that you are confused and we should stay friends. Or tell me to forget or ignore it. I can't! Not anymore!."

"I'm sorry I was drunk." He said looking down.

"You are always drunk! That can't be an excuse anymore. You kiss me and then you regret it and blame it on the alcohol. You ignore me and push me away then you come knocking back on my door. How many times do we have to go through this Beam?" I asked and he just looked down. I'm pretty sure he was crying and I felt bad but that just made me angrier.

"I'm sorry." He said again sniffling.

"No I'm sorry. I can't keep letting you break my heart like this." I said and it's the most painful thing I had to say. I looked away. If I saw his hurt for even a second more I would've crumbled again and begged him to forgive me. But in the end we are just hurting each other and that's the last thing that I wanted. I walked away without looking back. I felt suffocated. I didn't even return to my room I just walked out the front door and into the beach. I need to get out of here now. But I was in Beams car. I should've brought my bike. I sat down right where I was on the sand. A few minutes later I heard some footsteps and I just looked down. If it was Beam I wasn't ready to see him.

"So you finally broke." Said Phana and I looked up.

"I'm sorry for hurting him. You know I love him. I didn't mean to but I need to look out for myself too." I said. If he wanted to punch me I would accept it.

"I don't like to see him cry. But this time I understand." He said and I just gave him a nod. "You came in Beams car I just came to offer you my keys if you wanted. I'll drive him home tomorrow." He said and I've never been so grateful.

"Thank you Phana." I said and he handed me the keys. "I will just leave now I don't think I can come back inside. Please take care of my things." I said.

"Everything's already on my car." He said patting my back before leaving. I let out a sigh. He's a good friend. To both of us. I calmed myself down a little before hitting the road.

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