Chasing you (part 13)

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Forth's P.O.V.

After Beam left my apartment I sighed. I was relieved we were back on talking terms. I wasn't enjoying this back and forth game though. I get that he's confused and I respect his boundaries but I need to look out for my heart too. I just can't keep getting hurt every time he pulls back. I don't even want to think about it but deep down I know that this can't continue on forever. Someday he will have to make a decision. Ideally we will be able to stay friends no matter what. But I know there's a possibility this will all end wrong. I mean I knew it back then when I decided to keep my distance. This time I decided to take the risk. lets see where it takes us. In the end I know that ill continue loving him no matter what. Now I just need to hope for the best. I will try to make him feel safe with me. Hopefully some day we can be together but if not I will know that I gave it my all. I'm going to try and focus on the good for now. I decided to text Beam to make sure he was ok.

-Did you make it home?- Forth

-Yeah I just got here. Thanks for tonight.- Bee

-You're welcome.- Forth

I contemplated continuing the conversation but decided against it for now. Instead I turned on my computer to play some games before going to sleep. Before I fell asleep I checked my phone and I had a few messages from Beam.

-Can I join you for lunch tomorrow? It's been a while since I last visited you guys.- Bee

-Did you fall asleep?- Bee

-I guess you did. Goodnight.- Bee

I didn't even notice my phone ringing. I decided to answer tomorrow morning so he didn't think I was ignoring him. With that I drifted off to sleep. I was awoken by the sound of my alarm and I groaned turning it off. As I sat up on the bed and grabbed my phone to turn it off I noticed another message.

-Good morning.- Bee. I smiled at the text.

-Morning! I did fall asleep yesterday... sorry. But of course you can come over for lunch. I'll have it ready for you when you arrive.- Forth

I continued with my morning routine before heading to class. I continued texting Beam throughout the day. When it was lunch time I ordered for the two of us.

"Why are you getting two portions? Are you that hungry?" Park looked at me weirdly and I rolled my eyes.

"The other one is for Beam." I said and that grabbed Lams attention too who was mostly ignoring us.

"What?" Both Park and Lam said at the same time.

"I thought you two weren't on speaking terms." Said Lam coldly.

"We resolved it yesterday." I said and Lam's expression didn't change.

"You know he's our friend and I like him. But I don't agree with what he's doing to you."

"He's just confused." I tried to defend him.

"Yeah. That doesn't give him the right to hurt you like this. Doesn't he realize what this bullshit game of yours is doing to you."

"It's not like I'm the only one hurting Lam. I have boundaries too. I still don't want to let go. But if it comes to the point I can't take it anymore. I will walk away." I said and he nodded half heartedly. He didn't believe me and that's ok I wouldn't either. I know my limits and even if it's stupid I still have hope.

"Whatever just don't come to me when you end up heartbroken." He said and I laughed.

"Oh you and Park are the first people I will visit. I will need a shoulder to cry on and someone to smack some sense into me. You two are the right people for that." I said and he shook his head.

"Fine. But Park is gonna be the one to comfort you when you cry." Said Lam and Park laughed.

"We both knew that already." I said and we continued walking to class.

At lunch time I bought two portions of food. I was still skeptical if he was coming or not. The last time he took initiative didn't go so well either so I didn't even know what to expect. I sat down with Park and lam and a few minutes passed and Beam hadn't arrived. I was contemplating if I should text him or not when I noticed him walking quickly to my table.

"Sorry I'm late my class ran a few minutes late." He said and I nodded.

"No worries. Here's your food." I said pushing the plate towards him.

"Thank you." he said. The air was a little tense. Park and Lam weren't talking. I glared at them but they were looking at the food. So I kicked Lam under the table who glared at me too. We stared at each other for a second none of us backing away until he sighed giving up. He nudged Park not saying anything but Park started talking.

"So Beam you stopped coming because I teased you last time you were here." Said Park lightening the mood.

"You wish, I was the one teasing you not the other way." Said Beam and I was relieved everything was back to normal.

The bickering started and by the end of lunch everything felt normal again. Which I appreciated. I didn't know what to expect this time. Or for how long this was going to last. But I wasn't ready to let him go yet. I know we have a chance and hopefully one day he will be ready. I'm just hoping that day will come on by soon. For now I will take things one day at at time. I will start by being friends again maybe that will help. Right now I'm uncertain about a lot of things. My feelings for him haven't changed. But Lam is right. I can't keep on getting hurt. I know he doesn't do it on purpose. He is not trying to hurt me. I looked at him smiling beside me at something Lam said. For now everything is all right.

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