Fall for me instead (part 18)

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Beam's P.O.V.

We made our way into the house. Before opening the door Forth stopped holding my hand. I was a little disappointed. Before I could say anything he turned to me and started talking.

"Thanks for tonight. I'm glad we got to spend time together before leaving this place without anything getting on the way. I will cherish these moments with you." He said smiling sadly.

"Forth." I started to say but he shook his head.

"It's ok Beam. I understand." he said and I looked down.

Before I could say anything else he made his way inside. I stopped to take a breath before following him inside. I went to the bathroom to take a bath and I changed. I was feeling a turmoil in my heart and I'm my head. I don't even know what to do anymore. As I was walking around I noticed Forth standing near the hammock next to the water. It was the first place we got to know each other. I remember after what happened with Mint I came here alone and he joined me trying to make me feel better. That was our first long conversation.

Is this really the right decision? I thought being apart was for the best. That it would spare us the hurt after. But I didn't think about the hurt we will be both feeling while here anyway. Forth has been so patient. He gave me space when I asked. He never tried to push his feelings. He acted just as a friend when I asked him. Even after all that more than a month later we are still here. Both of us feeling the same way. Both of us hurt. He looks so sad, he doesn't deserve to be sad. Not for me specially. I don't deserve it. I didn't even realize I was crying until I felt my teardrops hit my hand. I did what I wanted but I never asked what he wanted to do. I wiped my tears and before I could think what I was doing I was already standing a few steps behind Forth.

"What would you have wanted? If I didn't ask for things to be this way, If I hadn't asked to be just friends? What would you have done differently?" I asked. He turned to look at me startled.

"Hmm I would've liked for us to spend our time here together. I would've wanted to get to know you as more than a friend. Plan our future together. Figure out if we lived close to each other or far away and what we could do to be together. I would've showered you with my love and taken care of you. I would've showed you off proudly in front of everyone here and outside. I would have tried to ease all your fears if you had given me the chance. Because I don't just want a physical relationship with you. As I said in the beginning I am looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with. I've already hooked up, I've already had fun. Now I want a partner to do these things with. Someone to lean on when I'm tired, to wake up next to them every morning. That's what I would've wanted." He said and I felt sad that I took that away from both of us.

"I'm sorry." I said sniffling.

"It's ok maybe it wasn't our time to be together. I don't hold anything against you. I respect your feelings. You weren't ready and that's ok." He said.

"I was scared, I still am. I've never felt like this. Ive never been in a relationship I have never wanted to. Then you came and all these feelings left me confused. This is all new to me. I've never even though of having feelings for a girl and then I'm suddenly having feeling and for a man. I questioned everything I knew, I tried to run away from my feelings. But instead I don't know how but you have just make me fall harder for you." I said and he looked at me wide eyed but still keeping a distance being careful.

"What are you saying?" He asked and I sighed.

"I know we are almost out of here and we have lost all summer. But I've tried to avoid my feelings for you and it hasn't worked. I tried to spare you the pain but I have been hurting you all summer anyway. I'm saying I was wrong. So why don't we try it your way instead?" I said and he was quiet for a while before shortening the distance between us.

"If we are going to do this I want to be all in. I don't care if you live half way across the world we will make this work. We will find a way to be with each other. Will you do the same?" He asked and I nodded. I think it's fine for us to be happy.

"Whatever comes next we will face it together." I said and he smiled.

"I've already confessed my feeling for you, it's your turn." He said with and I looked away feeling embarrassed.

"I'm not saying it, you know it already." I said and he shook his head.

"I don't know anything. I haven't heard those words from you." He said.

"So I really have to say it?" I whined jokingly and he glared at me. "Fine listen closely." I said grabbing his face with my hands and pulling him closer. "I love you." I said softly but sincerely.

"I love you too." He smiled before kissing me. I pulled him closer feeling happy. I hope this time it was the right decision.

"It was about damn time." We heard someone say before a loud cheer and some clapping. We both separated and I wasn't surprised to see Yihwa was the one who had screamed and everyone was there watching us.

"I knew everything was way too quiet. You where spying on us." I said glaring at her.

"Hey this is a shared space. You want prosaic you two have a bedroom." She said and I felt my cheeks heating up.

"Ok let them have their moment." Said Knock taking her away. I turned to Forth who was smiling.

"She has a point. Let's go to our room." He said and I nodded. There we can be together without anyone bothering us.

A.N.

Happy Valentine's Day! I'm spending my day at work today ☹️ but even if I wasn't I still don't have anyone to celebrate it with anyway hahahaha. Anyways let's forget about my un existing love life for a second. This story is coming to an end just a couple of chapters left! Anyways I hope you're enjoying! As anyways stay safe and I will see you all on the next chapter!

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