Love Chromosomes

XXII: It Started Raining Guilt Outside

Vee Vivis

It hurts when you go through something that kills you inside but you have to act like it doesn't affect you at all.

I am sitting with my friends watching a basketball game between two faculties I cannot remember. My mind was too preoccupied with something else.

I checked on my watch to see that it's almost 4 in the afternoon. I will soon leave to meet that person Mark in a cafè near his place where we used to visit everyday when everything was still good between us. When Mark's dirty little secret was still safe and hidden in his closet.

I dragged myself to the university this morning even if I don't have any will to show my bruised face to anyone. But since I already skipped classes yesterday, I would be damn if I do it again today.

I cannot hide the fact from my friends that something happened between me and that kid as the fight I had with his Japanese best friend had spread all over the social media. I just made up some alibi because I can't tell them the whole truth yet.

In addition to my injury from Kana, P Axel gut kicked me yesterday as soon as I entered his room after bringing his car back to him. He said he was the one who discovered Mark's pitiable form outside my room when he went back to checked on me after knocking me unconscious then leaving. He saw that Mark was looking all weak and miserable, that he can't even bring himself to stand up, that P Axel felt so sorry for him. The kid refused to be brought to the hospital despite having a high fever as his pants was all soaked in blood making my brother guessed what I have done to him.

I don't know if the heavy feeling that pressed down my heart when I heard how that kid looked when my brother found him was called guilt or was it still pain. I guess his betrayal doesn't only breaks my heart but also darkens my soul. I don't know if I'll ever forget about the pain like a fog that forever lingers the depth of my heart.

P Axel refused to tell me anything else after he took Mark back at his unit. He said I have to see him myself if I wanted to know more. Truth is I don't want to have anything to do with that person anymore. I don't want to see his face ever again. I don't care if he dies from bleeding. It wouldn't change the fact that he is not Masa anyway. He's a complete stranger to me now.

"So you and that handsome doctor broke up again Vee? Again?" Luke asked me removing his eyes from the court temporarily. I don't want to answer him so I just gave him a shrug and pretended to be interested with the one dribbling the ball infront of us.

"Did that nong cheat on you with that handsome guy who punched you yesterday ai Vee? Everyone was talking about it on facebook. Come on Vee, tell us." Rune put his arms around my shoulder and shook me so hard.

"Oi! Are we here to watch basketball or to gossip?" I removed his arms around me complaing about their annoying interrogation.

"We are just worried about you Vee. It was the same guy nong Masa was singing with at our music club booth the other day. You reaked with jealousy back then Vee." Yes, Nin was there when I hauled that kid against my shoulders carrying him away from Kana. Remembering that made me feel so stupid all over again.

"So what? That's all over now." I continued to make myself busy with the game infront.

"It looked serious to me. Maybe this time you two broke up for good? Am I right Vee?" Kit and his outstanding foretelling gift again. But I am not planning to confirm anything to him now.

"Aw! Where are you going Vee?" Luke called out to me as I stood up all of a sudden and walked away from them. I just waved my hand to my friends who looked so perplexed with my sudden walk out.