XLII. Regrets and If Only's

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Mark Masahiro

The whiff of hand sanitizer and antiseptic agents greeted my consciousness as I found myself lying down on what appears to be a hospital stretcher. It 's the kind of smell that is so intense, your stomach starts hurting. I can hear a faint whispering from a certain group of girls that sounded so familiar. I suddenly feel the dull pain that was on the back of my head and realized I was on a left side lying position.

I slowly opened my eyes and saw the light blue curtain drapes that I often see in a hospital set up dividing two hospital beds for some privacy. A low groan escaped my throat as I tried to change my position. The left side of my body was starting to get numb.

"Mark? He's awake!" Jane's face immediately popped infront of me looking a little relieve seeing me opening my eyes. She called on her company and soon, another girl's face appeared infront of me.

"Mark! I'm so happy you are finally awake." Saya's beautiful face was close to crying. She caressed my face with her pretty fingers and I flinched from how cold those fingers were.

"Saya? Why are you here? Where am I? What happened?" I asked moving my face away from her touch. Saya and me have been civil with each other since that time I came back to Japan. When she heard about my mother's death, Saya did everything to make her self available despite the demand of her work as an idol and came back to Thailand along with Kana to comfort me. She had repeatedly asked for my forgiveness for acting all cunning and hateful towards the relationship I had with P Vee.

With everything destroyed before she could even start her wicked plans, I can only smile and pretend there's nothing wrong. I could never hate the girl so I tried to embrace our friendship once again with Kana as the mitigator. We don't often see each other because of their hectic schedule in the entertainment industry but we made sure to keep in touch.

So seeing Saya at the moment made me so confused. Is she supposed to be in Korea right now? Is this some kind of dream I am having?

"Mark. We are in the emergency room. You've got a nasty laceration on your head and the doctor have to stitched it all up. How do you feel? Is the local anesthesia still working? Do you want me to tell the doctor to prescribe some analgesics for you?" Saya told me looking over at Jane with an attempt to tell her to call some medical assistance.

Then the realization suddenly came like waves and I bolted up in an instance. My head immedially started spinning from the sudden change in the position I made as I remember what had happened before I found myself lying there.

"Hey, calm down Mark. Your wound might open up again. You should lie back down." Jane put her hand in my shoulder holding me down. Saya did the same to my other shoulder.

"P Vee! Where is he? Is he alright? Jane? Where is P Vee?" I asked Jane in a frantic manner moving my eyes around searching. I started to panic when my eyes weren't able to see him around. How can I forget about him? The last time I saw him he, he...

"Calm down Mark. You have to think of yourself first." It was an unintentional impulse that I brushed off the hands of the two women who holds me down. I was too impatient to hear and know what had happened to P Vee and I don't need no consolation or whatever from the two.

"Where is he? Just tell where is he and I'll go to him." I told them in a tone that was so direct and needy. The two of them looked rather hurt by my indifference but I couldn't care less. My insides are on a haywire and I won't be at peace until I see P Vee again.

"Where is he? Tell me!" I yelled in a half crazed manner as my whole body trembles from the anxiety. The last time I felt this way was when Masa oniisama was shot by some obssessed fan of Saya back then. It's like being thrown into the deepest part of a limbo and you do not know what to do to get out. It's the worst feeling in the world. The feeling of not knowing. Why do I have to feel it all over again?

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