Love Chromosomes

XXIV. Glitches

Vee Vivis

The drive going to the university on a Monday morning has always been a drag. The traffic congestion in the busy city of Bangkok not only causes delay on peoples' lives and fuel wastage. It also causes a negative impact on a person's mind that was brought about by the constant blowing of horns from the impatient city dwellers thus causing an annoying noise pollution. It only added friction to my already distorted mind.

It has been four days since that last meeting with Mark. I've never heard from him since then. He did not show up in any activities of the Uni fair organized for the freshies. He even ditched the Star and Moon contest making the 1st runner up moon of last year did the turn over for him. The Faculty of Medicine took home the crown again as the university moon while the Star came from the faculty of Fine Arts.

As for me, those four longs days without that person felt so irrelevant. It's like experiencing glitches like in the matrix all through out the day. One minute I was brushing my teeth and looking at my miserable face in the bathroom mirror, then the next thing I know, I was already eating lunch in the cafeteria surrounded by my chaotic friends. What happened in between those conscious state were a blur to me.

It started that day when Mark and I got separated. I was left standing in the rain watching as Mark was drove away from me by his friends. Half of me wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and run after them. Another half though was all guilt stricken and paralyzed as I question myself if I really deserve to run after him or not. One thing that I was sure about was my heart breaking when Mark turned his back from me. I wasn't able to find out how I get back to my own room after that.

Another thing that troubled me were the words that Jane said to me when Mark and their other friends were not listening.

*
"When you're still too stupid to question who among those two brothers you really fell in love to P, you better find out first about the history of Mark's scar at the back of his head. Or if you can't do that, then just settle to finding out where his home is."

What does Mark's scar at the back of his head has anything to do with finding out who among the twins I fell in love to? It doesn't make sense to me at all. Besides, I already know that it was Mark. The unexplainable curiosity and attraction I felt for that cold person that day after I broke up with the him that pretends to be his brother were only a few things that made it all clearer. It has always been Mark. But my hatred for him because of the betrayal clouded my reasons.

How would I be able to bring him back after all that I have done to him? Do I even have the right to wish for him to come back? Do I even deserve that person who sets aside that repulsive act I did to him just to do everything to meet me and explain his side? How can I be ok with myself after knowing I have emotionally and physically destroyed someone I love?

"Vee! Ai Vee! Stop playing with your food! Vee!" I was startled by Phailin's voice that I raised my head to her direction. I was now sitting on the cafeteria having breakfast with my friends. This glitches again. Was I stuck in the traffic jam just now? Why am I here already?

"Man you are spacing out again." Luke said beside me touching my shoulder.

"Uh..yeah?" I said stupidly.

"How bad is it this time huh? Did you break up with that doctor again? It's the second time after that nong came back from his vacation. What's going on between you two ai Vee?" Phailin looked all worried. Nothing that concerns about that kid and I escapes from Phailin's radar. She always has something to say about it for being the number one supporter of us two.

"Hmm? Nothing much." I'm still not comfortable talking about it.

"Damn Vee! Always this secretive! Then better hurry up and make up with nong Masa! I hate being around you when you are all like this." She sighed out of frustration but asked no more further. I am glad that she understands if I don't wanna talk though I wanted to tell her that I doubted about the making up part.