XXXIX: Your Name

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Vee Vivis

I wanted to curse out loud since I've stepped outside of the club with Mark and the cold breeze of a winter night in Sapporo slapped me like some old friend I have neglected before. It was way too much for someone that came from a tropical country like Thailand and haven't experienced a winter before.

I wanted to beg Mark to take me inside his car and turn the heater on as soon as possible if not for my hopeless romantic bravery of wagering my luck flirting with him.

I asked him to walk with me for a bit more under the snow. And I secretly glanced at his car longingly as we passed by where it parked walking at the other direction. My frozen brain just wanted to invite him back to the hotel room I got for myself and get it over with! But I doubt it'll be that easy. He would surely ditch me in the snow freezing to my imminent death.

"Are you sure you are ok P?" Mark asked glancing sideways to me walking beside him.

"Yeah. I surely am." But a hug from you would be much appreciated, so can I have one? I can only say inside my rotten brain staring at his handsome face that seems to glisten under the snow. Looking at him somehow brings warmth to my almost frozen face.

"If you say so." A hint of smile crossed his face. He looks like he's enjoying seeing me like this. He was very much aware about my tolerance with the cold. No matter how I toughen myself up in front of him, he can still see how I am suffering.

"So why are you here P? Did you come with Pran and Jane?" Our walking pace had become slower as Mark started to asked me. His eyes on the road in front of us.

"Yes. It was Jane who told me about the plan. I asked them to let me come with them."

"Because you wanted to have a vacation here in Japan? Because you wanted to see the snow right?" He added softly without looking at me.

"If it's just for vacation then I won't bother to tail along those two, especially Pran. He talks to me with 99% sarcasm. He never likes me you know. He always blames me for everything."

Pran never really talked to me after Mark and I broke up. I know how much he hated me for making his friend cry and suffer and I can never blame him. Though Jane was a little more understanding compared to him, I still get scolded by her from time to time. But the girl has more hope inside her than I have in myself for believing that there's still a chance for Mark and me to get back together. Bless her. I couldn't thank her more for feeding me with news about Mark since he get back to Japan.

"Then why did you bother? It's not your personality to get along with someone who opposes you and irritates you. Why bother tagging along with Pran then?" He briefly glanced at me and when our eyes meet, he immediately averted his away. Can't he really tell as to why I am doing this? Is he feigning being dense?

"Damn it Mark! Don't make me say it. I'm not really good with words. It's been a long time."

"Aw. Why curse at me P?"

"Because you're driving me nuts! You know too well why I am here." I groaned in frustration.

"You wanted to see me? Is that it?" He finally said laughing softly under his breath. I can only frown at him feeling a sudden shyness that was too irrational for my age.

"Yes! I wanted to see you! You really wanted me to say it out loud don't you? You are cruel Mark." I covered my face with one hand that felt like ice.

"Why? Are you that bored P? Do you miss playing with me?" This time, his tone of voice became more livid and dark. I saw his face twitched into an awkward smile, still looking at the road in front of him.

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