What Do You Want?

CHAPTER 19

Everyone was finally back at base. While on the way there, Y/N was talking Levi's ear off more than usual and Levi didn't really respond much. He was very upset and Y/N knew it but she tried her hardest to smooth the tension over as best as she can. On a different note, Levi was relieved that there were no casualties. Once they reached base, he quickly reported the incident to Erwin. As a result, Erwin gave the scouts the rest of the day and the following 2 days off to mentally re-cooperate. After their meeting Levi went to go look for Y/N. When he found her, she was in the infirmary checking in on the injured cadet. Luckily he was alive and conscious. Levi peeked inside the room.

Y/N: I am so glad you're safe. Please, please, please be careful next time!

Cadet: I know, I'm sorry I disappointed you guys *starts crying* I-I- I embarrassed myself in front of the two people I look up to the most and made a fool out of myself...

Y/N: No stop that * she wipes away his tears* You are on the special operations squad for a damn good reason. You are fighting with the strongest and with the best of the bests for a reason! You are very capable and strong and a damn good soldier at that. Things happen, this world we live in is not safe nor perfect and us as humans have to live in this unsafe and imperfect world. Unsafe and imperfect situations are always bound to happen. Remember what happened to me just a few months ago? *she grabs tissues and wipes away his tears and then grabs his hand* Please don't cry, it's okay. You're alive and breathing *she places his own hand on his heart* You feel that...?

Cadet: *nods and sniffles* y-y-yeah...

Y/N: You are alive.

She then warmly smiles and pats his head while wiping away his tears. Levi sighs and starts to leave the infirmary, Something isn't right... he kept thinking to himself.

It was dinner time and everyone was at the table except Y/N. Levi explained to everyone what happened at Wall Maria today.

Hange: OMG! My poor baby! Ugh knowing her, she's probably in the infirmary taking care of that cadet still.

Miche: Or she be might be secluding herself and training in the woods to get herself stronger , as she would say...

Nanaba: Hmm.. Levi, did she seem alright to you after the situation?

Levi: *nods* Well.. She seemed pretty cheerful and upbeat. She kissed her biceps and was smiling and laughing like normal afterwards. So I guess...

Moblit: Yeah that sounds like her. I think she's okay. She's the toughest person I know!

Nanaba: Yeah... I hope she's okay. You know how she can be...

Levi stiffened, then swiftly got up from dinner and quickly waved goodbye to everyone as he walked away. Nanaba squinted her eyes in question, What the fuck is going on?

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Levi's stomach dropped and his gut feeling was telling him something was very off. After noticing Nanaba's demeanor change after her last sentence, it struck a chord with him. Levi started to tremble... I know exactly where she is..., he thought. He quietly went straight to the roof of the building and silently glanced and saw Y/N. He hid so she wouldn't see him. After a brief moment, Y/N started to hysterically sob in her arms and collapsed on the ground. She was heavily breathing and hyperventilating. Levi panicked, FUCK WHAT SHOULD I DO WHAT SHOULD I DO WHAT SHOULD -... Suddenly he saw Y/N oddly calm her self down. That... That wasn't normal... She was still sobbing but her breathing slowed down. Tears ran down her face with her body frozen as she gazed at the empty sky. She looked paralyzed and her eyes looked dead. It was almost frightening. Levi took one last look at her before leaving when something catches his eye. He quietly gasped, I fucking knew it... He thought. Levi then quickly walked away. I know she's going to come by my place in a little while so I'll deal with her then...that idiot.... Why?

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An hour goes by and Levi was in his office. He had his hands on the temples of his head and started to rub them to try and calm himself down before she came in. *Knock, Knock, Knock* "Come in Y/N." Levi shouted. As she walked in and locked the door, he stared at her walking towards him and she had the biggest smile on her face. She then sat next to him, "Levi! Did you miss me? I didn't take too long right?" she then started to rubs his thighs.

Levi: Y/N...

She ignored him and leaned on top of him and started to kiss his neck, "Levi, I need you right now..." she whispered.

Levi: Y/N stop...

She ignored him again and kissed him on the lips. Levi then lifted her up and flipped her body so that he was on top of her. She stared at him in shock, "Levi, what's up with you? Killing the mood.."

Levi got frustrated, "Y/N...". 

She quickly got angry too, "WHAT!?!" she shouted. He then took his two fingers and gave her elbow an extremely hard tap, "OOOOWWWWWWWWWW OUCH OUCH OWWWW!" Y/N screamed as tears began to form in her eyes. Her lips started to tremble and her body started to erratically shake.

Levi: Y/N please...

She suddenly started to burst into tears and sobbed while tightly grabbing his shirt, "LEVI I'm suppose to be strong I.. I couldn't help him I'm a failure... I couldn't... I wanted to be stronger. I WANTED TO BE ... I WANTED TO BE STRONG LEVI.. LEVI I HAVE TO BE STRONG LEVI I NEED TO BE STRONG I-I-I-...". She sobbed so gut wrenchingly loud and she dangerously started to shake and tremble. Her breathing started getting a little too fast and her heart rate was racing erratically. Levi panicked, quickly picked her up and started to take her to the infirmary. She was sobbing so loudly that some people poked their heads out of their rooms in panic. As he quickly ran through the halls carrying her he was whispering to her while softly kissing her, "Y/N breathe I am right here, breathe. Calm down I'm right here...".

They finally reached the infirmary and Levi explained everything that happened to the doctors and nurses. By the time the doctors had Y/N, she collapsed in shock and went unconcious. The nurses quickly took her in and tried to regulate her breathing by placing an oxygen mask on her. They also put her on a machine to closely monitored her heart rate. Levi just stood there frozen.

A few moments later

Nurse: Her vital signs are at a dangerously low rate. We're not seeing any major improvements just yet but we're going to have to closely monitor her. We also have to perform a very quick operational procedure due her dislocating her elbow with a fracture in the bone. Don't worry, the operation is completely harmless but we will have to be cautious due to her mental state and her vital signs. We aren't sure what happened and what caused this, but we will figure this out Captain.

Levi was still frozen, "Y/N I can't lose you too.. I can't.. FUCK...". Suddenly Hange and Nanaba came rushing into the infirmary with tears of concern. Both the nurse and Levi told them everything that happened.

Nanaba: FUCK! She always does this... *starts crying*  Y/N will never tell anyone when she's going through something because feels like she has to be strong.. Why? Why does she do this!?!

Hange then grabbed Nanaba and pulled her in as she was sobbing and trembling.

Nanaba: Do we even matter!? Why does she hide things like this?!

Levi: I...I should've ...

Hange: Levi stop.. You did what you can. Thank God you were with her and brought her here. And listen Nanaba, I know how much you love Y/N, please calm down. When everything is okay again, we will deal with this, Okay?

Hange then pulled in both of them for a hug.

Levi: I.. I'm staying here for the night. I can't leave her... I can't... I...

Nanaba and Hange both nod simultaneously.

Hange: We'll back here bright and early tomorrow then.

Levi nods and they walk away crying. He then walks over to take a seat and quietly sobs for the rest of the night.