My Book of Fics

Love Myself - Daniel Ricciardo

You stand in front of the mirror set up in Daniel's driver room, tilting your head slightly. You can't help but notice the imperfections as the voice in your head reminds you of them in the silence. The door to the room opens making you look away from your reflection. Daniel's smile silences the voice, at least for now, and he walks over his race suit hanging at his waist. "You doing okay Y/N?" he asks while bringing his arms around you from behind to look at you in the mirror, "much better now" you reply with a small smile while your fingers tangle with his. He kisses the side of your head making you look up into his eyes which hold so much more than you could've ever hoped for, he rests his chin on your shoulder, "I know that something is wrong" he murmurs quietly making your eyes widen. "When you're ready to talk I'll be here to listen" he adds making you relax, he drops another kiss to your head before letting go to grab something off the small desk, slipping out of the room seconds later leaving you on your own again. You sigh and sink down onto the small couch in the room bringing your hands to your face trying to make sense of the thoughts circling your mind.

In your shared hotel room at the end of the evening you're left in front of a mirror again. The negative thoughts on your mind as you stare at yourself frowning. You hear the shower turn off so you step away from the reflective surface to slide into your pjs. Daniel walks into the room with only a towel wrapped around his waist, his focus on drying his hair with a towel. As you look at him the voice in your head reminds you that you're lucky he chose you over the prettier girls walking around the paddock. The self inflicted jab makes your bottom lip tremble, "woah darling, what's wrong?" you look into the Aussie's kind eyes your own filling up with tears. He strides over before placing his hands on either side of your face, "I can't" you say through tears watching his expression change to one of worry. "I don't understand" you shake your head while bringing his hands off your face, "I can't love you the way you deserve to be loved" he frowns, "but-" you place a hand over his mouth to cut him off.

You take a deep breath before talking, "I hate myself Dan, the way I look, the way I feel, the way I act around the track" you see the way his eyes change at your statement but you keep your hand at his mouth. "I need to fix that before I can love someone like you" he moves his hands to your hips bringing you forward so you finally lower your hand. "I didn't know, maybe I can help" he pleads but you shake your head, "you need to be here for this team and this sport, and I need to step back for a bit before I break my heart beyond repair" he moves his thumb along your knuckles getting a sad smile to your face. "I'll wait for you" Dan says making you bring a hand up to his cheek, "you shouldn't, it might take awhile longer than we both think" you reply, "doesn't matter how long, I'll be there when you're ready" you smile and go on your toes to kiss his scruffy cheek one last time, "bye Daniel" you murmur and quickly gather your things before leaving the hotel room.

••••

A year later you're staring up at the entrance gate of the track you didn't think you would return to. "Oi!" you blink a few times and look back at the guy waiting behind you, "sorry" you mutter and step aside to let him through. You take a deep breath while fidgeting with the hem of your favourite dress, "this is stupid" you say to yourself before taking out your pass and walking up to the ticket scanner to get access into the venue. The volunteer tells you to enjoy the even, you smile slightly and step through the gate getting immersed into the world you only have good memories of from the past. The wind blows through your hair reminding you that it was significantly longer the last time you were at the track, you smile as you walk further towards the track no insecurities hitting you like they used to. "Y/N!" you stop walking before turning to the voice, a smiling Max Verstappen greeting you, "hey" he chuckles and rushes over to pull you into a tight hug. "I barely recognized you with that short hair" he murmurs making you laugh and pull away, "it feels like me this way" you explain, "it's very Y/N for sure" you smile and he does too. "It's great to see you Max" he nods and squeezes your arm affectionately, "don't be a stranger Y/N, we miss you here, he misses you the most" you feel the tug at your heart at the mention of Daniel, "go get that pole" you reply and he nods before letting go of your arm to walk back to Red Bull.

During qualifying you can't help but replay Max's statement in your head. Your focus straying away from the fast moving cars rounding the track. Someone putting their glass down next to yours makes you snap back to reality. You look over to see Charlotte smiling at you, "Y/N, what are you doing hiding here?" she asks while placing a hand on your arm. "Staying clear of him" you reply, the smile on your face slipping slightly as you look down at your glass, "what if he doesn't like this version of me" she squeezes your arm, "you are his world, even when you're apart, don't fall down that path after all that you've worked at this past year" you smile up at her and straighten, "you're right" she pulls you into a side hug and kisses your head, "now go get your man" you giggle and she pushes you towards the door.

McLaren's paddock is full of activity considering you got there just after the last qualifying session. You bite your lip trying to gather the courage to approach the chaos that you once thrived on. "Y/n?" you spin around at the familiar voice, Daniel stands behind you a look of surprise on his face. You smile at him sheepishly and shrug, he grins while striding over your bring you into a hug. As soon as he holds you, your body relaxes into his feeling like you're home. "The wait was worth it" he murmurs making you pull away slightly to peer up into his dark eyes, "yeah?" you ask while tracing the logos on his race suit, "definitely" you smile and he lowers his lips to yours while tugging you back into him. Your hand curls into the still damp fabric of his suit as his hand splays out on your lower back deepening the kiss. "Dan" you murmur into his lips, he hums but doesn't pull away, "we're in public you dork" you add making him finally pull away and laugh. You giggle and he brings a hand up to your cheek, "are you okay now?" he asks quietly, you place a hand over his, "yes and I can't imagine a life without all of this" you reply while waving your free hand around, "and me?" you smile, "especially without you" he smiles and quickly takes your hand before pulling you into the bright orange McLaren building. You giggle and let him tug you through the building, your eyes on the Aussie happy that you found yourself and your way back to him after a tough year of searching for who you are. You can't help but look forward to what the future will hold for you two, hoping that this is the beginning of something amazing.