What's wrong with us when happy hurts

All the pain won't fade why is recovery taking forever?

Notes:

Yeah, not too sure about this one. I just started a new job and am in a constant state of exhaustion but wanted to write and post the new chapter. Any mistakes are because of said exhaustion and my ability to notice them even after proof reading it numerous times. I already apologize for them.

Let me know what you think.

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Chapter 16

All the pain won't fade why is recovery taking forever?

Sara

Sara was pretty proud of herself and the way she was managing having Thea in the same room with her. Granted the younger woman was on the other side of the room and she herself was in an extreme state of exhaustion, but still, her bloodlust was only a soft humming, instead of the loud roaring it usually was when the weapon Malcolm had wielded to kill her, the second victim in that crime, was within her proximity.

She had gotten a lot better when it came to controlling the bloodlust in general, it was usually only a soft hum and slight itch under her skin when she was around people, instead of the intense need and compulsion it had been before. Not to say that there hadn't been situations where it had been stronger and the urge to kill had almost overwhelmed her. But ever since the changes her pregnancy was bringing with it had seriously started to kick in, the bloodlust seemed to have taken a back-burner most of the time, at least for now. She still didn't trust herself though and preferred to stay away from people and tried to avoid them all together if Ollie wasn't with her.

There was no question in her mind that her bloodlust appeared to be dormant, even with the object of its single-minded fury and craving being within reach, right now was simply because of her state of complete and total exhaustion.

Caitlin was still buzzing around the room, setting some things up, taking her vitals and all the while asking her questions about her and her family's medical history, taking notes. The questions were very general at the beginning and became more specific with time, Sara could practically watch how the gentle doctor from Central City was working towards one particular question that would unavoidably come up concerning her child's health and possible genetic illnesses or defects, and how she came close to asking it, only to shy away again, obviously feeling uncomfortable asking her to share such personal information.

It just so happened that Sara was looking at Thea when Caitlin asked her the first obvious pregnancy related question. The reaction of Ollie's baby sister made her grin inadvertently and for the first time in what felt like months. It was quite comical to watch the emotions cross her face. Poor Speedy, someone should've given her a warning. She considered saying something to Thea, even though watching her digest this new piece of information a little longer was highly entertaining, when Caitlin suddenly seemed to have scraped together enough courage to ask her the question she had been dancing around for a while now. Sara had known it was coming and yet it took her by complete surprise, she had been so engrossed in watching Thea, which led to her reacting in a natural and slightly offended way.

"Of course I know who the father is. Ollie. Ollie's the baby's father." Sara looked straight at Caitlin while answering her question, it was obvious that the other woman had felt uncomfortable asking her such a personal question and what it was implying and the mother to be tried to not get angry and offended at the question but still... part of her couldn't help it. She had been called a slut or whore so many times in her life that someone even just implying that she was just randomly sleeping around, still, like she used to before... before the Gambit and the Amazo and Lian Yu and the League and the freedom of choice being taken from her, was preposterous, even more so since Ollie was the only man she's had consensual sex with in the last ten years. So she decided to put her focus on something else to stay calm and switched her attention back to Thea towards the end of her statement, gauging the young woman's reaction to her revelation. It was kinda funny. Both women's reactions were very similar, and reminded her of a cartoon.