What's wrong with us when happy hurts

As bad as it was, as bad as it hurt I don't regret it

Notes:

Once again I'm asking you to please not hate me.

And as always I do my best to try and do Laurel justice. I love her I swear. She's just in a difficult emotional state right now...

I hope you enjoy the chapter.

************************************************************

Chapter 29

As bad as it was, as bad as it hurt I don't regret it Someday you'll see the reason why

Laurel

The last thing Laurel noticed while leaving the Star Labs Hangar was Oliver making yet another phone call. It hadn't taken Laurel long to notice Ollie's slight and uncharacteristically distracted behavior. It wasn't obvious to anyone who didn't know him well enough, but very obvious to her and Thea, and probably Felicity and Dig too, maybe even Roy. He'd glance at his phone a lot, text frequently, well for him anyway, and there had been more than one phone call that he had made. All of this while they were facing the threat of an alien invasion, something that would normally warrant his full, undivided attention. Something that should demand his full attention.

And yet Oliver's mind seemed to be focused on more than this.

It wasn't hard for her to figure out who was responsible for his split attention.

Sara.

And she had to admit it made sense. And of course he would think about the woman who was carrying his child. That didn't change the fact that it stung a little.

Hadn't Oliver told her that it had just been one night, that it had meant nothing, twenty-three days ago when he had shattered her world with the revelation of Sara's unplanned pregnancy? If it had meant nothing, if it had been just one night, then why, why did they... why did their regular get-togethers remind her of that first disastrous family dinner Sara had brought Oliver to all those years ago? The looks and soft smiles they shared, the affectionate touches, the way they appeared to be in synch with each other and the fact that Sara was usually dressed in a shirt of Oliver's and they seemed to share a bed.

Their behavior was as usual very confusing, they were saying one thing and doing another and at the same time seemed to withhold a lot of information.

She sometimes wondered why Oliver and Sara had suggested the weekly lunches and dinners. They didn't really share anything serious or substantial with them. They dodged a lot of questions and avoided talking about the past, the pregnancy and their plans of giving the baby away, anything about their travels that didn't involve food, landscapes, animals or the occasional anecdote, their mental health struggles or really anything serious. So, why did they invite them to spend time with them? What was the real purpose behind their get-togethers? They had said it was about reconnecting and yet they still kept Thea, their dad and herself at arm's lengths. Part of her knew that this was a first step. They had taken the first step and it would take time, but still; it was frustrating, and she sometimes wondered if they really wanted to reconnect. They didn't really seem to give it a chance; they didn't seem willing to let them in, so how was that supposed to work? How were they supposed to reconnect if there was no genuine attempt at connecting on a deeper level made by either Oliver or Sara?

There seemed to be so many topics that were taboo that it was really hard to figure out what to talk about that wasn't just idle chitchat. It made it so much harder. All Laurel wanted was to understand. Understand her sister. Understand Oliver. Understand how they ended up in the situation they found themselves in. Understand why they chose to give their baby away. Understand what exactly was going on between them. And that was not including anything from their past. Yet, their refusal to talk about any of it led to her still not being any closer to understanding any of their choices than she had been when she had first found out about Sara's pregnancy.