What's wrong with us when happy hurts

Think there's nothing your son can't do been popping pills with mad booze

Notes:

I am so sorry I haven't updated in a while. I struggled to get myself to sit down and write and when I did I just couldn't focus enough to get this chapter done. I've also been having this issue of not being able to stand my apartment being quiet, yet not being able to concentrate on writing while playing music... this is an entirely new issue that I'm trying to find a solution to, lol.

as always let me know what you think :)

Warning: mentioning of child abuse, only slightly.

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Chapter 48

Think there's nothing your son can't do been popping pills with mad booze, the sad truth I admit I have it all, I don't want dis

Thea

Thea was once again letting the conversation she had with Roy a couple of days ago run through her head, as she had done several times over the weekend, not having school was not doing her any favors right now. She was sure he knew more than he let on. That he was keeping something big from her.

Which was fine.

She wasn't going to pry. He didn't owe her anything. They weren't a couple. And even if they were, it still wouldn't mean that she was entitled to personal information about her brother that Oliver wasn't sharing with her himself. Still, the fact that Roy seemed to know more about what was going on with Ollie than she did stung a little. Not that she didn't... it wasn't like she didn't want Roy and Ollie to be close. She was glad they were. She just missed being one of the people her older brother confided in. She wasn't really sure what had happened and why she no longer was. Not that Ollie had confided in anyone really, Sara not included, of course. She was glad that Ollie had Sara and apparently Roy to share his thoughts and feelings with, but she wished he would share them with her too. And maybe it was selfish, but they were the only family they had left, and she missed being close to him. Missed the bond they used to share and the time they used to spend together. Sometimes she was reminded of how things were when he had first come back from Lian Yu... especially the last couple of months that Sara had seemed to pull away from him.

"... You gotta let me in, Ollie. You gotta let someone in... Look, I'm just worried about you. You seem really lonely. And we all have our secrets, Ollie. Clearly you have yours. And it's fine if you don't want to share them with us, but I just really think you should share them with someone..."

So yes, she was so very grateful to know that he had Roy to lean on, if Sara wasn't an option, that he actually had people he let in and shared his struggles with. She was glad that this at least was different to how things were when he had first come back home. There had been several times over the last three years, ever since she had learnt that Sara had survived the sinking of the Gambit too, how different things might have been in the beginning, had Sara come back sooner, had she come back shortly after Ollie. If he would've had her to lean on from the beginning. If Sara had Ollie to help her return to society sooner... maybe... maybe things would've been different. Maybe Sara would've stayed. Maybe Ollie would've been less lonely, less willing... maybe he would've been doing better earlier. Maybe things would've never gotten as bad with his mental health issues as they've become over the years. Maybe Sara would've been doing better earlier too.

Not that it mattered.

The past was the past and there was nothing they could do to change it. At least not without the possibility of some serious repercussions, as they've learnt through Barry's selfish choice of changing the past which led to consequences that were far beyond their understanding. Thea wasn't even sure if they were aware of all of them yet. Or if Team Flash was, and whether they've shared all of them with Team Arrow. There might be a whole lot more that had changed than they were aware of... maybe things were better now, maybe they were worse. Who knew? Probably the Legends, but if they did, they weren't sharing which was speaking for itself. Roy was right, changing the past was dangerous, too dangerous. The past was the past and all they could do was learn from it and move forward. The way life was meant to be.