What's wrong with us when happy hurts

Those damaged goods you see love sees them differently

Notes:

First of all:

Thank you to everyone who gave me kudos! You guys are great and I really appreciate it and knowing that people like my story.

Once again Arrow's inconsistency is screwing with me. This time when it comes to their timelines. I was under the impression that Ollie and Tommy had known each other their whole lives... and Rebecca Merlyn was killed when Tommy was eight years old. Yet, Laurel mentioned in Season 1 that she had never met Tommy's mother. But she and Ollie had known each other since they were 7 years old. And looking it up Arrowverse wiki says that Ollie and Tommy met during the two years that Malcolm was away, but that he and Moira had slept together before he left.

This is so very confusing. Seriously, I feel like everytime I manage to kind of figure some of their past out and make sense out of the bits and pieces that we got, there's another thing that makes their past even a bigger mess.

So for the sake of this story, Tommy and Ollie had known each other their whole lives. Rebecca had Tommy in a public school because she didn't want him to feel entitled and wanted him to know how the other half lives. Ollie, Laurel and Sara went to private school, the Lance girls could go because Dinah was a professor at the college that was part of the private school. Malcolm had Tommy transfer to their school after Rebecca's death. The Queens helped him out with Tommy and Malcolm left around a year, one and a half after Rebecca had died and right after he and Moira had slept together, this led to Moira and Robert taking Tommy in for the two years Malcolm had been away.

And I feel like I need to apologize for this chapter in advance so here goes; I'm really sorry... I didn't mean to...

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Chapter 18Those damaged goods you see love sees them differently and you don't have to stay the broken girl

Sara

Sara slowly blinked her eyes open, her mind gradually slipping into consciousness. One of the first things she noticed was the big hand cradling her stomach. She slightly lifted her head so she could look down. What she saw was Ollie's hand laying protectively on her rounded stomach. One of her own hands moved on its own accord, softly covering his, slipping her fingers in between the spaces that the fingers of his open hand created. Sara bit her lip when she felt a pang and her heart constrict painfully, while her eyes filled with tears. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat before she took a shuddering breath, trying to get a hold of her emotions and keep the tears from falling, removing her hand from Ollie's as if she had been burned, forcing it on the mattress next to her hip. Curling her fingers into a fist, until her nails dug into the tender flesh inside, the pain bringing her a small amount of relief. She carefully turned her head to make sure that her actions hadn't woken the man next to her up. She was glad to see his eyes were still closed and his chest rising and falling regularly in a soft, calm and familiar pattern that let her know that he was still sound asleep.

She let her eyes drift back to her stomach and Ollie's hand so lovingly placed over their child.

And she almost... for a moment she almost forgot... almost wondered... maybe... but it was just a wish... a dream... something that could never be... because her baby only deserved the very best that life had to offer, and she couldn't give her child that. She was too damaged, too broken, too dangerous. Her hands were covered in blood and would only taint her baby, leaving scarlet handprints all over its tiny, innocent little body. And she couldn't do that, she couldn't damn her own child.