What's wrong with us when happy hurts

Did she run away? Just come home discover some new truth

Notes:

As promised, the follow up chapter.

Please let me know what you think of this chapter. I was really really nervous (speak terrified) posting it. It's different.

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Chapter 38

Did she run away? Just come home discover some new truth Now is always wrapped around you I'd ride or die with you walk the line if you asked me to

Sara

God, why was Ollie so goddamn stubborn? Why couldn't he see... talking to Laurel, dredging everything up again would only cause him pain at best and a serious relapse at worst. She didn't want him to go through that again, the pain, the guilt, the confusion he had felt, but most of all she didn't want him to have to relive the loss of his son, yet again. And even if he would leave that part out when talking to Laurel, he would still be reminded of it. Reminded of the loss he had grieved because of the betrayal and lie of the one woman he was supposed to be able to trust no matter what, his own mother. She didn't want him to be reminded of the years he had lost when it came to his son's life, the years he would never get back, and of the years he was still going to lose now, because William was not a part of his life. She didn't want him to have to relive all of that again. She just wanted to protect him from all of it.

Because he was doing so well!

She didn't want him to risk his progress for this. It wasn't worth it. Laurel got the answers she wanted. There was no reason for Ollie to talk to her too. He wouldn't tell Laurel anything she hadn't already told her. Sure, he was right, his reasons hadn't been her reasons, but in the end, it didn't matter. Laurel had the facts now. Everything else was just... it should be enough. Everything she had shared with her sister, every piece of herself she had given her that was never meant for anyone but Ollie to see, to know should've been enough. Laurel had had five years to demand answers from Ollie, yet she hadn't. So why now? Why now that he was seriously struggling, fighting his depression and trying so hard to get better. To get healthy for their baby girl and for himself. And he was. He was doing so good. Therapy was helping him, his choice to keep Mila was helping him.

Why would he risk all that for nothing?

She tried to get him to see, to understand. She tried to reason with him and convince him it was okay to be selfish, to put himself first. That he didn't owe her sister anything. But she could clearly see that even though she was getting through to him, he refused to budge.

"Fine, think about your daughter then. Is satisfying Laurel's need to know everything about the past worth risking the progress you have made and a relapse? How will you take care of Mila then? How do you plan on taking care of a baby while you're incapable of taking care of yourself because you are battling your depression?" His stubbornness in the matter frustrated her to no end, and she knew she crossed the line the moment she brought up Mila, but she just needed him to understand what he was putting on the line, what he was risking. She needed him to see that there was no reward in satisfying Laurel's need to know. What was either of them getting by him telling her sister the god honest truth? Nothing, neither Laurel nor Oliver would get anything out of it.

Having Laurel know that she had driven him away. That her actions had suffocated him. That her refusal to see him for who he was, was the reason he strayed. Laurel was currently doing the exact same thing she always had, and that had led to Ollie running from her. She was demanding he put her needs before his own. She was so blinded by her own pain that she couldn't see, couldn't understand, that now was not the time to have this conversation with Ollie. After all these years Laurel was still incapable of reading Ollie, of actually listening to what he was saying and accepting his answers and choices. She still couldn't understand how much their past was hurting him. How hard those one and a half years had been for him. For both of them. And yes, maybe it was important that Ollie had this conversation with Laurel, maybe it would help her understand, but now was not the time for it.