What's wrong with us when happy hurts

I'm fighting monsters in my head I'm sliding every time there's threats

Notes:

Here is the next chapter, yay! I hope you guys like it!

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Chapter 44

I'm fighting monsters in my head I'm sliding every time there's threats I don't need nobody's help Come here, babe; this is the entire team, nobody else

Oliver

He sighed deeply after Sara's words. He wasn't sure his team remembered he used to do this alone. That he could still do this alone. It was a thought that had crossed his mind several times in the last couple of months, especially whenever the argument about the other vigilantes had come up. But at the same time now was a terrible moment to decide to go back and do it alone. He'd probably done it months ago if Sara hadn't been pregnant and still chosen to come home with him.

Having Sara and him be the entire team would make a lot of sense on so many different levels, but Sara wasn't going to be an active part of the team for several more months at least, maybe never again. And even if she should decide to join the team again... if they were the entire team, it meant they would need someone to watch Mila every night they were out in the field together and neither of them wanted that. Just like they didn't want to risk Mila ending up an orphan. This, exactly this was why neither of them had planned on having children. The life they led was not made for a child to be a part of and yet, he loved his baby girl more than he ever thought was possible. There were a lot of moments lately when he wondered if maybe he should just step away, put down his bow and leave the Green Arrow behind. But he couldn't do that while watching his home slowly decay and turn into war zone. He couldn't step away as long as he was living in Star City, as long as they decided to raise Mila here.

He looks at Sara. Maybe he should just take her and run. Run to some place where no one knows them, somewhere away from civilization, just a nice little place for the two of them to raise their baby girl in, driving a couple of hours every once in a while to reach the next town and get whatever they need... maybe... maybe then they would be able to leave the past behind, to deal with their issues. To live a normal, happy life. Maybe then Mila would be safe. Safe in a way she would never be in Star City. Safe like William was before he had stepped into his life. Safe as she should be. Maybe... but could he really step away from it all again? Leave Speedy alone, yet again? He couldn't do that to his baby sister, he couldn't let her down again, abandon her again. He had turned his back on her too many times already. Speedy needed him just as much as Sara did. And he needed her, he needed his baby sister. Because his words from years ago were still true. If Thea and he weren't together, they weren't really alive. They had drifted apart in the last couple of years and it was mostly his fault. He wanted to do right by her now; he wanted to get to know her again, go back to how they used to be. He wanted his sister back.

He couldn't leave Star City again, at least not without Speedy. And he knew she wouldn't leave now.

But he couldn't step away from being the Green Arrow as long as he lived here, and people were suffering. And he couldn't do it alone either.

So what were his option?

Roy had his own team, he was happy and had come so far... besides he was dead as far as the public knew. Oliver would never forget the sacrifices Roy had made for him and he was very grateful, but those meant that having Arsenal back in the field wasn't an option. Unfortunately, unless they came up with an explanation as to why Roy Harper was suddenly alive again? That was something to think and talk about with Sara and Roy at another time. Roy was bound for a visit, anyway. He needed to text him and set a date later. Unless Sara had already taken care of that, she was better at keeping in touch with Roy than he was.