My One And Only Poison (18+)-undergoing major editing.

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I remember when I hated xavier guts, when I wanted to kill him, but now, now I'm drowning ,drowning in xavier. A part of me still hated him, no I hated myself more for allowing myself to drown to change, to give him my heart and my life .I allowed myself to become  so dependent on xavier. 

To give him a part myself I wasn't sure I would get back. Was that how love worked, I had nothing to compare it to, I didn't love anyone before xavier and I wasn't sure there would be anybody else but xavier. 

" good morning" I said to cris as I made my way downstairs, I had up gotten early due the fact I was unable to sleep. "morning" cris replied." so, what are we doing now" I asked pouring myself some of the coffee cris made.

" well, I'm just waiting for boss to call." cris said sipping his coffee." "oh" I said. I guess we are going to be here awhile I thought. " I'm going to take a shower." I said to cris. I wondered what xavier was doing ,I decided to call him.

"hi babygirl." xav said he sounded tired. " hey" I said." how are you." I asked." I'm alright, listen babygirl I cant talk  right now I'm really busy so later ill talk to you." xav said. before I could answer he ended the call. I sat on the bed, I knew xav wasn't alright.I wasn't going to just going to sit here, like some princess or some damsel that need to be protected by her prince .I'm Victoria fucking salvatore ,I'm my own boss.

After I  had taken a shower I headed downstairs." where are you going ." cris said as he entered the room. shit I thought I just planning on sneaking out without him knowing." I'm going to xavier, I cant stay here while others might be in danger.IM not some fucking princess I can take care of myself .

Now you can either let me go willingly or I can just put another bullet in you." I said staring at his eyes .There was silence after that then suddenly laughter struck the air. I stared at cris wild-eyed." I was waiting for you say something, I know you're not a princess vee, you're a fucking badass it seems xavier is the only one thinking doesn't that." cris said ." ohh" I said, I really thought he would try to stop me, I wasn't joking when I  had said I would shoot him. " lets go' cris said, putting down his cup of coffee .wow that  was easy, that's why I liked cris he got me, he didn't see me as some week girl.

" how do you think xav will react when he see's us" cris said as we drove back home." he probably  will be pretty mad." cris said staring at the road. " I don't care its about time he starts treating me with respect." I said firmly. "yes boss" cris said." well he is going pissed that for sure." cris jokingly. I rolled my eyes cris is so goofy sometimes, like this is serious situation.

finally we reached our destination, cris was the first one to come out of the car. I came out car and set off to find xav. people stared as we passed , I made my way to xav office." you can go now I said to cris. I opened the door slowly." I told you to not disturb____" xav said as I entered. "well too bad." I said smirking" what the hell are you doing here" xav said getting out of his chair.

" who am I to you" I asked, keeping a straight face. "what the hell kind of question is that your my goddam wife." xav said angeringly getting up. "oh cause from where I'm can see I'm just a fucking damsel distress you need to save. I thought we were in this together. I TOLD YOU IT WAS ME AND YOU AGAINST THE FUCKING WORLD, not you alone." I said shouting I'm pretty sure the wholehouse could hear me.

" I..I've just been dealing with a lot lately." he said sitting back down, he looked exhausted. "I know ,but I'm here, why don't you see that .Every step of the way ill be there, why wont you let me be there for you. its as if you are hiding, a part of yourself ,your not giving yourself to me completely. you have me." I said holding xav hand." I know." he said staring at me.

" yeah just wanted ,you to know I'm not going anywhere .PERIOD." I said smiling sitting on his lap grabbing his face and kissing him. he pulled me closer and we kissed forever and ever well not really forever you know what I mean you know what I mean or maybe you don't you know what I don't care. Just know we kissed and it felt amazing, it always does with xavier.

"where's cris" xav said few hours( maybe, maybe not)."around here somwhere." I said. "oh, I don't know if I should thank him or kill him. I am happy your here but I don't want you to get hurt."he said hugging me." I'm ok ill be ok." I replied." you don't understand Victoria I cant afford to loose you, promise me if it comes down to me or you ,you'll choose you." he said. "why would you say that" I said staring at him. I didn't want to think about losing him or him losing me.

"just promise you." he said squeezing my hand and staring into my eyes. "ill promise you if it comes down to it ill chose us." I said smiling. "You're so difficult." he said laughing. "you love me" I teased smiling." I do" he said, kissing me.

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Yours truly

my one and only poison