My One And Only Poison (18+)-undergoing major editing.

48

" I'm not a bad person . " I told myself ad I watched dean body being placed in the ground. I mean I've made a lot of mistakes said  a lot of things that wish I could go back in time and reverse but did that make me the bad guy.I knew that I wasn't a saint I wasn't a really good person either but people make mistakes. I'm only human right and I know that's a shitty excuse for what I've done but it's all I have.I know people may see me as a bad person .I couldn't look in the eyes of the people here I felt so guilty.and I know most of them blame me, I blame myself too honestly. I was the cause of dean's death and as much as Xavier told me I wasn't I didn't believe.

Xavier was so social , he greeted everybody with a smile. I couldn't do that look in their faces and smile as if I'm not the reason dean is dead. As if I'm not the reason they're here now.I stayed at the back , I had on my shades so they couldn't really see my face .Honesty I didn't cry,I thought I would but looking at dean being placed on the ground all I felt was guilt and anger. Guilt that he had to die for me and anger because the person who shot him was still out there. He didn't deserve this and I was going to be the one who brought his killer to justice.
" you alright " Jessica said as she came to stand by me".Yea" I said not bothering to look at her. I didn't want to talk to anybody right now, I just wanted to stand here and wallow in my sorrow.

"Xavier"  I asked as  I sat in the room staring at the ceiling."yes babygirl " he said coming to stand between my thighs.
"make me forget " I whispered staring up at him."forget what, baby girl" " Everything. " I said .
" As you wish ." He said kissing me ." No, skip the foreplay ,just fuck me now".I said taking off my top.I know what I was doing wasn't exactly the right way to do things. But you know what fuck it.For a few minutes are even hours I would like to not think about what happened, and here in xavier's arms I forgot about everything. I focused on the passion, the bliss. that night I slept great but in the morning I felt awful.

I got up and decided to drink some water,I headed to the kitchen my head was killing me.
As I was walking down the stairs I heard Xavier's brother talking."we need to move quickly people are starting to get suspicious, I didn't kill that idiot dean for nothing. You have one fucking job to do just do it." I gasped ,what did he say,  was I dreaming I had to be .Was max the reason for dean death.no I must  have misheard. I quietly made my way back upstairs. I still couldn't wrap my head around everything. I didn't understand. Why would max do something like that.I had to tell xavier but would he believe me, probably not it's his brother.I mean I'm just his wife, blood is thicker than water, I had to get evidence,  but how .

I groaned,  this was too much to handle by myself, I couldn't make the same mistake twice.I had to tell someone. But who , and could I trust them too. Did this mean Mia is apart of this, whatever it is.no she couldn't be , she was my bestfriend, she wouldn't do that to me. I pushed that thought  aside I had to have  faith in my bestfriend she wouldn't betray me like that . Would she?

Maybe I could tell Jessica, but could I trust her, too.I sighed maybe I'll just keep it to myself for now until I have proof .nobody would actually believe me if I told them this especially with how I've been acting. I'll get my evidence , but first I needed to figure out what the hell was going on. what was his ,motive. I needed to start investigating now. This was one messy puzzle I had to solve, so I can bring dean to justice. I just hoped when the pieces are put together it isn't as messy as I think it is.

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Yours truly
My one and only poison