Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis

Do Me A Favour (13.2)

Make sure you read 13.1 first x

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Numb.

Numb was the only thing you felt beside your sadness over the next month. Sometimes the numbness took over and it lasted hours.

You would zone out and stare into space when you were alone. Well, on the rare occasion you were alone anymore.

The numbness would end with an overwhelming sense of sadness and you'd find that you were already in fits of tears when your mind came back to you. Then you'd either fall asleep crying or the tears would dry up and your mind wouldn't stop.

The images you conjured up in your head hurt you and you don't know why you kept thinking about it - but you did. All you could picture was your Matty with other girls and it broke your heart even more as every single second those images passed through your mind.

Pain was a constant.

The worst pain was in your chest. It felt so heavy all the time and nothing ever made it leave.

Not when Alex hugged you and told you things would get better. Not when Jamie tried to cheer you up with silly jokes. Not when Y/B/F called you and talked about anything but the person you were still so in love with.

Y/B/F got most of the phone calls of you crying when you needed to get things off your chest about your boyfr... ex-boyfriend. Alex dealt with you crying enough on him in the day, so never would you call Alex when he went home after being with you all day.

You were lucky that he was around in the first place. If it wasn't the run up to his album release you would truly be alone through this, because you pushed Adam away.

You hated it when your cousin came to see you now. However lovely he was being with you, you just hated the overwhelming sense of sadness you got when he was in your presence.

He reminded you of the day it happened.

He reminded you of movie nights with your boys in their flat or yours.

He reminded you of their gigs.

He reminded you of the day you were brought on stage and got a boyfriend.

He reminded you of your summers in Manchester.

He reminded you of skating.

He reminded you of Matty.

And you couldn't deal with that.

No matter how much you loved Adam, you couldn't deal with him being around for long periods of time anymore.

The pain Matty caused you lingered in your heart and it weighed your shoulders down daily. Whether you were distracted by others or not.

Pain was your life now.

Pain from the accident still lingered, even when your ankle came out of its cast and the splints were removed from your wrist and fingers. Physio on your hand and your muscles that had been severed hurt like a bitch, but it never dulled the pain in your chest.

Numbness, sadness, and pain was all you knew.

And despite being promised almost daily that things would get better or easier, it never did. In fact, things got a lot worse before they got better.

You don't know why your stupid and irrational heart wanted it, but you hoped somewhere deep down in your heart that Matty would fight for you. After everything you'd been through together, you thought that maybe he would fight to keep you, even without the guys around him knowing.