part one; lost and found

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PART ONE❝For you,I bleed myself dry ❞

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PART ONE
For you,
I bleed myself dry


I am laying on the floor of the room I've been in for the last years. I've lost count of how many days I've lost while locked in here. I feel blood running down my index finger as the corner of the book pierce through my skin. The little pain is probably the only thing keeping me sane. Or at least as sane as I can be. No one's totally sane if they have my thoughts, my will, my past.

The book on my hand was the Lord of the Flies by William Golding. He believed that humans are moved by urges towards brutality and dominance over others. Power. Human nature.

His line of thought was created between 1911 and 1993 when he died from a heart attack, but somehow, stays till today. One hundred and fifty-five days later.

I believe his thoughts. I'm affected by what he said himself. I killed so that I could be free, but still, I loved the feeling of their blood on my hands, but non the less, I did it to save myself. I stole life from them to give myself.

The same that Jaha did with my parents, the same way he did with me. With one order, we were restrained from our own lives.

As I look at my written walls I remember it all too well. The blood. The screams. The wound. The burnings. I remember it all.

Three years alone didn't make me forget. They made me remember. I never cried. I ate it all up. Every little bit.

"The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief." I read on my wall as I bring my bloody finger to my lips, cleaning the blood.

Shakespeare.

FIRE AND GOLD ▸ JOHN MURPHY (editing) Where stories live. Discover now