thirty-six; apologies

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"We got a problem

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"We got a problem."


I wake up coughing as smoke filled my lungs, I drag myself out as well when I see Niylah who's coming towards me.

She wraps her arms around my torso and helps me up, taking me outside. As soon as we step out I breathe in the fresh air as I see Octavia struggling to reach me. I kneel to the ground coughing.

"I'm sorry," I mutter to Octavia, looking back at The Ark.

I had fucked up. Really bad this time.

"It's not your fault," Octavia assures me and I nod at her, noticing Ilian getting out.

"You son of a bitch! Did you got your family back?!" I struggle to talk and even more to get closer to him. "Was it fucking worth it, you piece of shit?!" I scream as loud as I can but the sound comes out as a wheeze, as he walks away, I try to go after him but I can't. "Look at that!" I point at The Ark and he looks back for a split second as he runs away. "That was you... Ilian kom Trishanakru." I scream as I fall to the ground putting my hand to my head.

Due to the smoke in my lungs, I'm still coughing when Bellamy comes running towards his sister and Clarke comes towards me and Niyah

"Inanna, you're okay?" Clarke shows up.

"It was Ilian. I tried to stop him." I cough as I struggle to speak.

Explosions are followed by more and more explosions making everyone look up to the sky, only to see what was left of The Ark flying away. People screaming and yelling at each other for them to cover their faces.

"I'm sorry." I look at Clarke as I reach for her hand. "I really am." I struggle to keep the tears from falling.

I hated The Ark, I wanted it to burn but not like this. It was our only chance of survival and now was gone. It was harder than I had thought to see the spaceship I lived on all my life blow up. All my memories were in there, and now it was gone because I couldn't do a good enough job of convincing him not to kill us all.

I let Ilian in. I could have helped Octavia and bring her into Arkadia myself but I didn't. This is on me.

* * *

I was in one of the rooms that had survived. Octavia was laying on one of the beds facing the wall and I was sitting on her feet, my head on my knees. Linn was dead and most of The Ark was gone.

The silence was all that could be heard in the room. Not an uncomfortable one, but we were both feeling pretty guilty about all this.

Our only way now was the nighblood Abby's group was trying to create in Becca's lab. Emori, Raven Murphy, Luna, Jackson, and Miller. I have zero ideas about why Emori and Murphy are there but at least I don't have to deal with them here.

FIRE AND GOLD ▸ JOHN MURPHY (editing) Where stories live. Discover now