Chapter 50-underwater

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*Edited*

-jaylen POV-

    I feel like I'm underwater. My ears ringing my mouth is dry. I don't know where I am . I try to speak but I can't. Why can't I speak? I try getting up pulling at the cords that are attached to my body but a pain in my stomach causes me to wince in pain. My baby what happened to my baby.

    I can hear my door opening as I began to panic. Visibly shaking and tearing up trying to rip off all the cords on my body. Parker, he as with me.

     Where is he. Please not him. "Jaylen you need to calm down please" shaking my head violently I try to get off the hospital bed but I'm being pushed on by a bunch of nurses.

        I want to yell at them to get off me but I can't. No sounds come out of my mouth as I try to yell. Nothing at all. Thrashing in their holds I managed to run out the door ignoring the pain in my body. Parker I need to find him. I need to make sure he's ok.

     I lean against the wall and rush through the hallways with no destination in mind. Where is he. I hear the people chasing me come to a stop all of a sudden. I look up to see Parker.

       I can't be hallucinating can I. Am I still asleep? No no I'm not. He rushes to me and braces me into a tight hug. I try to speak.

    I try to tell him I love him but I can't. We both fall to the ground as we hold each other tightly. "I shouldn't have let you go" I break down even more knowing he blames himself. Reaching to his face I make him look at me.

     I shake my head so he knows it's not his fault. Realization seems to hit him as his eyes travel to the bandage wrapped around my throat. His lips began to quiver as he hugs me closer.

    He repeated his earlier statement "I shouldn't have let you leave" I  pull away from the hug. I look at him and take in every injury he has. A small bandaid on his nose, his wrist wrapped up, and blood on his hospital gown.

    Now I remember. He got shot. I reach for his chest and lightly but my hand on him. He shakes his head "it's not your fault" Looking down at my hands I remember I know sign language I just hope Parker does.

     Signing with my hands I tell him "Don't blame yourself, I broke my promise when I said I'd keep you safe" he looks down avoiding my eyes.

     "We promised to take care of each other jaylen, so don't just don't" I nod still thinking it was my fault. I get up off the floor with him holding me up.

     Thomas looks at me with no facial expression and that worries me. Alex and Zane are just as broken seeing their friend limping back to his hospital room.

    I was right when I pushed Parker away. I should have stayed away. If I did maybe I would still have my baby maybe Parker wouldn't have seen what he saw.

      I can't help but feel selfish for keeping him but I want to. I never even told him I love him and i may never get the chance. I want to use my voice when I tell him he has my whole heart. And I hope I have his.

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