Falling for Agent Romanoff

Chapter 38

We got in the car and headed to the ice cream shop.
N: What do you want love?
Me: Vanilla.....
N: Why do I even bother asking? It's always vanilla.
Me: I just love it. What are you getting love?
N: Chocolate chip.

We got our ice creams and sat down at the table eating.
I could tell it was something serious, because Nat was worried how she was going to bring it up.
Me: Ok love. I'm getting really anxious, because you're thinking how you're going to start the conversation. And you said it was important. So, I'm just going to ask.

Nat was smiling at first, because of how well I knew her but when I said that I'm just gonna ask her, she was confused.
Me: Are you breaking up with me? Because if you are, bringing someone to ice cream in order to break up with them is a really shitty move.
N: What?! No!! Of course not baby, I love you. I don't want to break up with you.

My eyes got watery and I knew I was about to cry.
Nat just looked at me and saw that I was about to cry. She pulled me into a tight hug.
N: Don't ever think that I'm gonna break up with you!! You're the love of my life!! I will never do that. I wanted to talk to you about something else but I can see you're already anxious and upset, so never mind. Let's just enjoy the ice cream.
Me: Ok, we can talk when we get back to our room.
N: Ok love. Now tell me something you've never told anyone.
Me: Hmmm..... I've never had a hamburger in my life.
N: What?! How come?!!
Me: Well, when I was a kid my parents didn't let me, because they said I needed to eat healthy. Then, I got kidnapped and got out almost a year ago and I haven't had one since.
N: Ok, I'm taking you out for hamburgers, tomorrow night.
Me: Ohhhh!! Really?! I'll love to. Now tell me something about you.
We talked and laughed for hours until we got back to the compound.

We headed back to the compound and entered the common area.
I saw Tony working on his laptop and he quickly looked at me and then Nat worried.
I knew Nat had talked to Tony about whatever she wanted to talk to me about and he was worried about how our conversation went.

Me: Ohhh...... I get it now.....
N: What baby?
Me: The thing you and Tony were hiding from me this morning.....
T: What are you talking about?
Me: The thing Nat wanted to talk to me about. She came and told you, didn't she?
T:...........
N: Yes, I did. Only because I wanted his advice on what I should do. Now, come on love. Let's go upstairs and talk about it.

Nat and I headed upstairs and closed the door.
Me: Please talk to me love. I'm getting really anxious, because I saw the worry on your and Tony's face.
N: Well........ The dream you had......
Me: What about it?
N: It wasn't a dream bubs. It was real.
Me: What? No! I will never go home with a stranger!!
N: (giggles) You didn't go home with a stranger baby. I took you home, but you thought I was a stranger and didn't let me help you with your clothes, and then I went out of the room and re-entered it and you remembered me and let me help you.
Me: (laughs) Ohh Myy Goddd...... I'm really stupid when I'm drunk, aren't I?!! I talked to you about you?

Then I remembered what I told her.
(My face dropped and I looked down and started playing with my fingers)
Me: Ohh....... I told you.......
N: Yes, you told me and I'm worried baby.

Without even realizing, tears started to roll down my cheeks.
Nat put her hand on my face and wiped them with her thumb.
She pulled me down to the bed and sat across from me holding my face.
N: Please don't cry baby. I'm not mad. I just want to make sure you're ok.
Me: I'm sorry.......I just couldn't.....
N: Please don't apologize baby. I'm........ I'm sorry if I made you feel like you couldn't talk to me.

I started to break down and Nat pulled me into a tight hug.
Me: I'm sorry...... I didn't want you to worry about me, so I didn't tell you.
N: Babe, I don't want you to hide stuff like that from me. You are NOT a burden to me. The love of my life can never be a burden on me, you hear me? I love you with all my heart and will do anything for you. Please... Just tell me if anything happens.
Me: I'm sorry baby, I should've told you. You were already doing everything for me and I didn't want to add to your stress.
N: It's ok love. I'm not mad or angry or disappointed. I was just worried about you, because you are the most important thing in my life and I don't want anything to happen to you.
Me: I love you Nat, I promise I'll tell you if something happens again.
N: Can I ask when it happened?
Me: (looking down) It happened on Monday. It was the first day we went on the 3 hour walk and after the first hour I was so tired and I grabbed on to you. You held me the entire time and made sure I walked for 3 hours. Later that night, I woke up and started to overthink. So I got up and went downstairs and had a panic attack. Then, I got into bed again and laid there until you woke up around 7.
N: I'm sorry baby, I should've woken up.
Me: Don't be sorry. I was very quiet and made sure you were asleep. But I promise I'll tell you if anything happens again. I love you Tasha....
N: Tasha?
Me: Ohh sorry! It just slipped out of my mouth. If you don't like it, I'll never say it again.
N: One time Clint called me Tasha and I punched him in the face. But coming from you....... It is very sexy, I love it.

I started to blush and turned red.
N: Are you blushing princess?
Me: What? Me blushing? Pfffftt.... I don't blush.
N: Righttt..... Now, come on let's go bubs. Tony is waiting for us. I told him we will watch a movie with the team.
Me: Ok, let's go.

We headed downstairs and entered the common area.
T: Can I talk to you privately?
Me: Yeah sure.....I'll be back in a minute. (I said to Nat and gave her a quick kiss)

Tony and I walked into the kitchen and closed the door behind us.
Me: You want to talk about my panic attack right?
T: Yeah, I just wanna know why you didn't tell Nat. Remember what happened the last time you shut me out?

I got so angry at him for bringing that up, because it was something I didn't want to remember.
Me: WHY ARE YOU BRINGING THAT UP?! IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO AND I WOULD NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!!

Nat heard shouting coming from the kitchen and started walking towards us.
T: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT? I DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD DO IT THE FIRST TIME.
Me: BECAUSE NOW I HAVE NAT. LAST TIME I DIDN'T HAVE ANYONE AND I DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO LIVE FOR. I WAKE UP EVERYDAY FOR HER AND ONLY HER, I LOVE HER AND WOULDN'T PUT HER THROUGH THAT!!

I started walking towards the door when Nat knocked on it and opened it without giving us a chance to answer.
I just looked at her and started crying, because I didn't want her to find out.
I couldn't stay there so I just ran. I ran out of the compound, got a car and started driving.

N: What was that Tony?! Why were you two arguing?! And why did she leave crying?!
T: She hasn't told you, has she?
N: What? Tell me!
T: I can't. All I can say is that we need to find her quick, because if we don't I don't know what she might do to herself......
N: Do to herself? Tony tell me what's wrong?! Why are so scared right now?! What is happening with Y/N?!
T: I brought up something I shouldn't have. Something that she is trying to put behind her. Something that happened before she was kidnapped and I'm afraid she will try again in the next couple of minutes.
N: What did she try to do?!
T: KILL HERSELF!! Now don't ask anything else, because I can't answer anything else but we need to find her. I'm afraid she will try again after what I said to her.
N: Wanda!!