Falling for Agent Romanoff

Chapter 39

*Tw: Mention of suicide*

*NAT's POV*

N: Wanda!!

I ran to Wanda's door and entered without even knocking.
W: Nat? What are you doing her? Are you crying?

I hadn't even realized that I had tears rolling down my face.
N: No, no.... I'm fine. I just need your help.

Wanda was taken back, because I never ask for help and I has never cried in front of people before.
W: Tell me what you need and I'll do it.
N: You can never mentioned this to anyone, you hear me? I know you care about Y/N and wouldn't want to hurt her.
W: Of course I care about her. Tell me what you need.
N: I need you to talk to her telepathically and find out where she is, because she might try to hurt herself and I cannot live without her.
W: What?! Why would she hurt herself?
N: That's not important right now. Just talk to her please....
W: Ok. Just shut up, so that I can concentrate....

*Wanda starts to talk to me telepathically*

*Y/N's POV*

W: Y/N? Y/N, can you hear me?
Me: W-Wanda?
W: Yeah, it's me. Where are you?
Me: Why? Do you need something?
W: No, it's not me. It's Nat!
Me: Nat? What happened to Nat?
W: I don't know. She came into my room crying and asked me to find you and she wouldn't tell me anything.
Me: I'm guessing Tony told her. How can I look at her when she knows I'm weak?
W: You're not weak Y/N! You're the strongest person I know, and whatever it is, I'm sure you had a good reason.
Me: Wanda, I tried to kill myself.....
W: What?! When?!
Me: When I was 12. My parents were dead and I didn't talk to Tony that much, so I tried to end it but Tony found me and saved my life. No one knows this except Tony and now I'm guessing Nat. That's why she is crying, because I just ran out on her and she is worried I'm gonna try to kill myself again. Assure her that I'm not, because I didn't have her when I did it. Now the only reason I'm still alive is because of her and I wouldn't put her through that.
W: Then, where are you?
Me: I'm just driving around, trying to clear my head, because I don't know how I'm going to face her. I don't want her to think I'm weak, because she might leave me and I cannot live without her.
W: Y/N, you are NOT weak!! She is very worried about you and loves you with all her heart. Sometimes her thoughts are so loud that I cannot stop myself from hearing them. She always thinks about how beautiful you are and how much she loves you. Now just come home, because she needs you right now. She needs to be in your arms and make sure you're safe.
Me: Ok, I'm coming home right now. I need about 10 minutes to be back but please don't tell her about my suicide attempt. I want her to hear it from me.
W: I won't. Just come home.
Me: I'm coming.

Wanda slowly opened her eyes and saw Nat crying and waiting for her to answer.
N: Where is she?
W: Don't worry, she's coming back. But I'm going to need you to sit down, so that I can talk to you about some things that she said.

Nat came and sat next to Wanda on the bed.
W: I'm assuming you know she tried to kill herself.
N: Yes, how did you know?
W: She told me that you are crying, because Tony probably told you.
N: Yeah, he did. But he didn't tell me anything else.
W: She told me what happened and why she did it, but asked me not to tell you, because she wanted to talk to you herself. She also said that she ran, because she thought you might leave her when you found out, because you might think she's weak and you won't love her anymore. So when she comes back assure her that she's strong and that you're not leaving her.
N: What?! Of course I don't think she's weak! I love her, she's the strongest person I know!
W: I know you do. I can hear your thoughts sometimes. She just needs you right now as much as you need her. She will be here in a couple of minutes. So you should go downstairs and wait for her to come back.
N: You're right. Thanks Wands.

Nat headed downstairs to make sure no one is there.
After about 2 minutes, I pulled up in front of the door and headed in where I thought Nat would be.
As soon as I opened the door, Nat ran towards me and gave me a huge tight hug.
I was so relieved, because I thought she would leave me.

Me: I'm sorry...... I'm sorry I scared you. I just couldn't look at you.
N: It's ok. I'm just glad you're ok. I love you with all my heart and I don't want anything to happen  to you.
Me: Can we go to our room and talk, because I need one of your amazing cuddles right now.
N: Yes, I need one too. Come on love. Let's go up there.

We were about to head upstairs when I pulled Nat in and lifted her up.
N: What are you doing? (She said laughing)
Me: Koala....
She wrapped her arms and legs around me and held on to me tightly and we headed upstairs.

We got to our room and I closed the door behind us, locking it.
I laid on the bed with Nat still holding on to me like a koala. She was on top of me and I couldn't have been happier.

Me: You comfy babe?
N: Yeah, you?
Me: I am, don't worry. Now are you sure you want to know what happened? (I asked nervously)
N: Of course babe. I love you and nothing you say can change that.

After taking a deep breath, I continued.
Me: When I was 12 years old, I tried to kill myself. I took a shit tone of pills but Tony found me and took me to the hospital. My parents had died and I didn't talk to Tony that much, because he was always with Pepper. I didn't have anyone and was really depressed. I have regretted that decision my whole life and got really upset when Tony brought it up.
N: But why did Tony bring it up.
Me: He asked me why I shut you out when I had the panic attack, because when I attempted suicide, I had shut him out completely and he was worried. I swear, I wasn't thinking about it and I wasn't going to do something stupid like that again. It's just when I heard you come in, I got really nervous and I just couldn't look at you, because I thought you would think I'm weak and would leave me.
N: Bubs... I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I love you. Nothing you say will ever change that. I think you're the strongest person I have ever met in my life and I fall in love with you more and more each day. I want you to know that you can always talk to me about anything and I will never judge. You are very strong and I will always love you. I don't want to force you to talk about anything but just know that I'm here if you ever want to. Now can we stay like this for a couple of minutes before heading downstairs? Because the team is having a movie night, but I'm way too comfy on you.
Me: Again, I'm sorry love if I scared you. And I need you to lay on me for as long as possible, because I want to hold you in my arms.