Speak up already - Phan

Chapter 45

A/N:

Sorry I haven't updated regularly i've been through a bit of a writers block with this book but I FINALLY HAVE IDEAS WOOO PREPARE FOR ANGST MWAHAHAHA

Dw I will update alot bc im on a 2 week easter holiday so yass I miss updating this book loads of people have stopped reading it bc of lack of updates which discourages me to write more, but i'm focusing on the positive room more okay x

xx

Phil stared at his laptop screen, biting his quivering lip. He hated mean people. People who would comment stupid stuff.

He was over the words 'gay emo' appearing in some comments. He had completly blocked off any comments that tried to include the word 'faggot' because he never wanted to see that word again.

But Phil hated it when they would target his personality the most. He was fine with them targeting his looks, trolls had nothing better to do than call other people trolls.

Phil knew he had a weird face.

He knew he stuck his tongue out of his mouth sometimes and it wasn't because he was trying to be cute, which he was apparently 'failing' to some commenters, it was because it was a habit.

He knew he had emo hair and a weird smile.

Phil knew all these things, they didn't bother him as much as before.

In his videos, Phil tried to be an optimistic person, always happy and trying to look on the bright side. But the things that got to him, were the comments against that.

'He doesn't care about us anymore, he only cares about money, that's all he ever talks about now'

'Phil I really love you but you've lost your touch and are't funny anymore, you talk too much too, unsubscribed'

'Why does this guy always act like he atrracts the biggest weirdos when hes always talking and we know that hes the biggest weirdo ever?'

Phil quickly wiped his eyes, staring down at his hands. He didn't know why these affected him, they shouldn't. They were stupid.

He tried to focus on the good comments considering there were alot, but it was hard.

Imagine you're in a room. There are two doors, one to your right, one to your left.

The right door holds all the positive. The stuff people like about you, why they do.

Then the left door holds all the negative. You can look through it to find some stuff that could make you improve in certain aspects. Stuff people don't like about you and why.

Most people choose the right door, but very little people, choose the left door.

Phil is in that very little group of people who can't help but read them. It makes him sad but hes stuck in the left room now and the exit door won't budge. He's stuck in there and can't see a thing from the right door. So he's stuck in the negtives, he can't see anything from the right door.

It may seem like this is only an off day, but as Dan and Phil drift apart slowly due to busy schedules, so does Phil from the right door.

After months of sad walks walks through the left room, he gets to the centre and finds a way to stop it all, the source. Bombarded with more hate on the way however, , like:

'This guy is too weird and happy all the times, it's all he ever talks about non-stop, I bet it's all fake'

'He needs to stop talking about cerain things, it's boring'

'Why are his videos so long?? U need to talk down philly lmao amaright?'

'Phil talk less.'

'Talk less plz'

'Talk less phil'

'Talk less'

'T a l k   L e s s'

Phil finds the source of the problem, sighs in relief, ready to take it into action.

Dan wouldn't notice anyway. It's not like their relationship has completly drifted apart over the last few months, it's just that in the last few months, so much has been going on with Dan and his family meaning that Dan had to visit as them often as possible, only coming home on Saturday's where he slept most of the day due to jetlag.

Dan wouldn't notice.

So he concluded to follow the source and oblige to it. Maybe that would make everything better.

So when more months past, that's exactly what he had been doing.

Source :  don't talk at all.

xx