Speak up already - Phan

Chapter 12

Phil's POV

I know i've fallen in love with Dan, and everytime I think about that...it scares me. I can't help but think of what can go wrong. It's stupid, i'm such a pessemist.

Yep, your stupid.

Not me the situation!

But so are you, oh and your ugly too, and weird.

Shut up.

Annoying.

Shut up!

Clingy.

SHUT UP!

YOU CAN'T RUN FROM YOUR THOUGHTS PHIL!

"PHIL! PHIL! ARE YOU OKAY?!" I opened my eyes as tears soon fled them. I was met by brown eyes, Dan's eyes.

Immidiently, I wrap my arms around him, buryung my face in his shoulder.

"Kitten what happened?!" Dan asked soothingly, stroking my hair and playing with it at the ends.

I shook my head, not wanting Dan to know. I already hate when he sees me cry, I can't let him know about all my stupid thoughts.

"Don't wanna talk about it?" Dan asked and I shook my head again.

My grip tightened on him, clutching desperatly at his shirt trying to just focus on his scent and ignore the constant yelling in my head.

"Phil honey your shaking." I heard Dan say softly, raising my head up from his shoulder.

"I-I..."

"It's okay if you don't want to speak Phil." Dan smiled slightly.

I tried to smile back as convincingly as I could.

"It's  okay if you don't want to smile either." Dan grinned, rolling his eyes at me.

I shrugged, smiling for real now.

"Phil?"

I nodded.

"School's back tomorrow."

I sighed in fustration, groaning and whining childishly.

"It's not that bad!" Dan protested.

"I-It is! E-Everyone sees me i-if I am sad!" I say quietly.

"Phil, I promise you, i'll be there all day tomorrow for you, by your side,"

"...T-Thank y-you."

**************

Dan didn't show up at school. He left me waiting at the gates for him until the bell rung and I was forced to go inside. Feeling hurt, I trudged to my first lesson, maths.

I tried to stay calm and doodled all lesson. Doodling always takes my mind off the bad thoughts. It used to be daydreaming, but yesterday I was daydreaming and that didn't end very well.

After maths, I speed-walked to Ennglish, not wanting to get caught by anyone who could possibly insult me in any way.

English was where I actually lisstened, because I love that lesson, it's interesting.

I texted him after English but he didn't reply. So much for being by my side.

I spent break by myself in the libary, just like old times. Only this time, I kept daydreaming.

What if he didn't come to school because of you? I bet he thinks your annoying and ditched you.

No of course not! He loves me, there's probably a reasonable exuse!