Speak up already - Phan

Chapter 18

A/N:

All Jin based super long chapter bc why not? (Have I mentioned how I love Jin?)

The next few chapters are gonna be based around Jin because I have a big ANGST STORM arriving soon to do with him, so I want some fluff before that. Dil will return in a chapter or two dw)

xx

Jin's insomnia got the best if him. All night, his overworked brain had him twisting and turning, the gears practically rotating as so many thoughts raced through his mind.

What should he do?

Should he tell Kei?

Surely Kei deserved to know and as a friend he should, he would forgive Dil for being drunk, right?

But what about Dil? Would Dil be mad if he did? What is Dil never spoke to him again for telling on him?

It was as if choosing between two precious friends, not wanting to lose either of them. His eyes stung as he shut them, not have been able to put his mind to ease all night meant that his body was overworked.

Everything felt like a dream in a way, the way he yawned as the sunlight peaked through the curtains of his room, blinding him felt illusory.

Jin stumbled out of bed, heart aching as if someone was hitting it with a giant hammer from the inside. He had only drunk water that night, but the guilt was eating him up from inside.

He hadn't done anything wrong, had he?

Surely not, he pushed Dil away...

Maybe he should of pushed him away more, otherwise Dil wouldn't have done...that.

Jin flinched as a thought passed his mind.

Was this considered cheating for Dil? He hadn't been in a full relationship like this before so he didn't know the do'd and don'ts or the exception rules. Maybe they depended in the couples.

Was this okay? Wait if this makes Dil a cheater does that mean Jin is his accomplice? Jin was pulling at his brown roots now, biting his lip. He had never felt this much anxiety in a while.

He needed to tell someone but knew if he said a word things would turn bad. But what were he to do?

Could he possibly tell someone? Maybe someone neither of them knew, someone whom wouldn't tell a soul and could rely on them. Then it struck him. His close friend Ludus. He never really got to see him since he lived a few hours away but they would Skype every two days having grown up together. They were inseparable.

Jin hadn't calls Ludus, in a while due to being busy. The last time he had called was maybe two weeks ago. Jin shakily unlocked his phone, gripping it tightly in his sweating hands.

He called Ludus, hearing the ringing causing his heart to speed up. He knew he could trust Ludus, but the concept of talking to someone about this felt weird. Normally he didn't have to, since he never felt like it got too severe.

Ludus answered the phone after two rings. "Agape love." He answered the phone in his usual monotone. "Hello love, nice of my baby to call."

"Hey Ludus." Jin smiled sadly, having missed his friends' happy tone.

"I can't hear a smile in your voice, what's up snowflake?" Ludus asked, referring to Jin with one of his many nicknames, this one corresponding with Jin's dark blonde hair.