For Her Undamaged (GirlxGirl)

44. Spicy Thoughts

_________________

Bailey's POV:

I slam my book shut tossing it across my bed and I let myself struggle to breathe with my face planted on my blanket. It's been an entire day and she hasn't texted me back yet, I sound crazy I should be fine without hearing from her but now she's taken up every crevis of my brain. I can't even read.

I CAN'T EVEN READ WITHOUT HER INVADING MY THOUGHTS. I lifted my head up taking a loud breath through my nose and I picked up my phone going straight to the same unread conversation.

She really hasn't seen any of my messages this has to prove that she's ignoring me. Is it really my fault, I thought we were fine I mean we kissed right before my class and that's not something that happens if people aren't on the same page.

Or maybe that was just for show. Maybe be she did it just so I don't feel like shit but now I feel like shit. I scrolled for Aunt Jacky's contact and I clicked it, please- please pick up. I kept it close to my ear, *My favorite niece what's up?* I immediately heard her voice and I sighed. "I need help." I groaned, *On no, what happened?*

"I don't even know so I guess I should start with the fact that Skylar and I went to the city hall and messed around I mean we played tag. She ended up winning but that's not where I'm going with this. Um, we kissed, like actually, we kissed- I kissed her first then she kissed back and it became this amazing moment and it happened again yesterday. Then we talked about where to go from here and I think I upset her because she's ready to be in a relationship and I am too but my parents and I can't get her out of my head, I can't even read and what's worse is that every time I read one the spicy scenes her face pops into my head." I took a breath out.

I said that really fast, *Woah okay, I think that's the fastest I've ever heard you talk but congratulations on kissing the girl I'm very proud of you for that but you said you think you upset her?* "She doesn't care about who sees us together and I don't care either but it's my parents, I know what happened to you and I don't want that to happen to me and I don't know- Am I being selfish for not wanting to be in a relationship because of them?"

*What? No you're not being selfish, I understand that it feels like that probably because you think that you're just leading her on and if that is the case then yeah it's pretty selfish-*

"No no no I'm not leading her, I really do like her Aunt Jacky, I want to be with her I'm just scared to do anything else, I've been trying so hard to make them proud of me and if they see this then everything I've done will just go out the window."

*Okay how about this? Let's say that you've moved out and you're with Skylar but you've kept it a secret now you randomly bump into your parents what are you going to do? Are you going to hold onto Skylar tighter or are you going to let go and go to your parents?*

"Hold onto Skylar." I said not letting another second pass.

*I think you know what you're going to choose then, I joined the military to give myself the freedom that I didn't get and I think Skylar is going to be the reason for yours. Also just to backtrack just a little did you say that when you read your so-called spicy scenes her face pops into your head?* Oh I can't believe I said that to my aunt.

I stayed silent but then I hear her clear her throat, *Bailey, are reading sex scenes?* "Sometimes" I mumble, I shouldn't be admitting this.