Forget-Me-Not (dreamxreader)

40 || Worry

TW: SWEARING, INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS, GRIEF

Grammarly edited this one guys :/ Many apologies I'm simply just very tired and have much to do.

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Like our spirits, the world outside was dark and cold with the wafting morning air. It was the only time of the day that was cool, before dawn, before first light. Even though the walls of the house kept the cold outside at bay it could do nothing against how cold we felt. Cold with nerves, cold with longing and worry. What if it goes wrong? What if it doesn't work?

It has to work. 

Michael stirs in my arms and although I was fully dressed and ready to leave I lay with him in my bed. Michael was still in his pyjamas, yellow and brown striped pyjamas with a little bee on the chest pocket. Cosette cooed softly from where she was rooting on the wide window sill. I didn't miss the raven feathered friend roosting with her. She seemed rather taken with the crow and the crow seemed rather taken with her as well. 

I am ready to leave whenever the others are. I can see them getting ready out the back of the house through the window. Horses nicker softly as they murmur quietly to one another and pack the saddlebags with supplies we would need on our journey. I catch the glint of an Ender Eye as Dream slips them into the small bag on his belt. 

Fundy and Quackity had returned to L'Manburg to work on my plan and when we returned they'd tell us everything we need to know. They left yesterday with George and Sapnap in tow. Fundy seemed quiet, like he was thinking about something. I didn't pretend to not understand what it was, he was thinking about his Dad. About Wil. When I asked how he was feeling he said he didn't want to talk about it, so I left it there. 

Michael's soft breathing and Cosette's coos are the only sounds in the room. I look out the window again at the group and the horses. I feel my heart do a little flip when I realise I won't be riding Spirit. She's been dead for a long time but the fact still was yet to hit me. Perhaps it's because I was gone when it happened, that I had forgotten her for the longest time and not processed any grief. I suppose not much has changed. 

The creak of the door breaks my thought and I crane my neck and see Dream standing there silently. I knew we had to go, but I didn't want to leave Michael. I hold up two fingers, silently asking for more time and Dream nods understandingly and shuts the door again. 

Michael stirs in my arms as the door clicks shut letting me know he's awake. 

"Michael," I whisper to him. "I have to go now." 

Michael opens his sweet brown eyes and looks at the window. He crinkles his snout and then looks back at me. 

"But it's not morning yet, the sun isn't rising," he protests sleepily. 

"It's just about to," I point to the horizon outside. It was still dark but the smallest peeks of light had started to tint the sky to a gradient of blue and yellow. 

"But I'll miss you," I can't help but smile. 

"I'll be back soon with Bee and Boo," I promise him. Michael seems unsatisfied and frowns. 

"Can I say goodbye to them again?" Michael rubs his eyes and yawns. I knew although he needed more sleep, Tubbo and Ranboo would want to see him too. 

"Alright," I sigh and sit up on the bed. Michael wraps his arms around my neck and I sit him on my waist and carry him down the stairs to the back verandah. As soon as I shut the door Tubbo turns and notices me holding Michael.