I'm a Villainess, But So What? Fuck Off.

It's Fun to Mess With Assassins

In that book from the hidden room in the Elven Palace, I read about the nature of [Descension]. It can summon ethereal beings, paired with [Ascension] it will make me immortal and let me ascend. [Descension] also 'grounds me to the earth'. Apparently, that's not all.

Honestly, I got quite curious and intrigued when I found that the other people of the party's reason for joining was because of a mysterious seal/magic circle on their bodies that 'prevented' them from doing anything else, somehow. That also got me thinking. Why didn't I? Was it because I was reincarnated? [Descension] is like a part of immortality. Why can it summon ethereal beings, why does it ground me to the earth? That must be the only explanation. So is not necessarily an attribute. It's more like a part of who I am, which means the ethereal seal must not be able to touch me because I am ethereal, and I am, in some way, immortal.

----

I tucked into a cot in the small, one-person tent and laughed at the sleeping assassin next to me. Cute. He's wary even when he's sleeping.

"Shuri, you're awake?" A clear voice cut through the soothing silence of the night. I raised my brow in a slight surprise.

"Yeah, I am, why?"

"Hahahaha, no reason. I was wondering..."

Ah, here it comes. "Hmmm?"

"Who are you?" ...And there it is.

----

I always had a vague suspicion that the assassin named Geo knew somewhat of my capabilities. After all, he could withstand my aura during my first meeting and he did get hand picked by whoever to defeat the demon king, it was only natural I couldn't conceal everything from him. So I had already prepared myself for this rather out of the blue question.

"I'm Shurian Hoven, the saintess with light magic, of course."

"But only Aveline Belle and Alice Novea have light magic. It is impossible for you..."

"Hahaha, is that true?"

"..."

I knew what Geo was like. Constantly second guessing, always on his toes, he would never believe in 'concrete' things that society thought until he verified it himself. So right now, when I said those words, he probably thought, 'She must have hid herself well.' It was quite easy to mess with him, now, wasn't it?

"I'm just messing with you, don't worry. I'm actually Aveline, not Shurian!" My statement further increased his confusion. Everyone in the continent knew that Aveline had disappeared because of an unfortunate hereditary disease that was recently discovered. And everyone also knew that Miss Aveline Bell had absolutely no manners, despite having a noble status. Now he was probably in deep thought, trying to pick apart the little statements I dropped 'on a whim'. It's really fun to mess with people like him.

"Well, I don't really care about whatever you choose to believe. Goodnight~" I closed my eyes and drifted off into dreamland.

...And woke up in the middle of the night.

I don't know! I just couldn't sleep, knowing that there were perfectly good people here that must be so fun to prank! And who doesn't like a good prank from good ol' Alice?

Kekekekekekeke...

❅   ❅   ❅   ❅

I slowly wormed my way out of the thin cot. My black hair swayed as I shuffled out of the small tent. I looked at the put out campfire's burnt coals still dimly glowing with a faint orangy-red light. My lips turned up to a mischievous grin as I gazed at the tents lined up on the clearing. Time to have some fun~

----

The sun soon started to rise, and the sky took on a faint purple-yellow hue. As per the usual, the party began to shift and awaken to prepare for the new, tiring day.

I waited for one second. Then two. Then three. Then... "AHHHHHH!!! WHAT THE FUUUCK?!"

Right on cue~

----

(Author's Note: Hollem's POV. This prank has depictions of ??? acts. IF YOU ARE AN INNOCENT LITTLE LAMB, DO NOT READ THIS. THIS IS MY FINAL WARNING. BE WARNED, PLEBEIANS.)

I blinked my dry eyes open and slowly began to sober up in preparation for the new day. And that's when I saw it. Geo, on top of me, doing... the... thing... WHAT?!

I looked down, and saw my dick standing high and myself stripped naked. Then I looked at the person who was grinning like a madman, sitting and... thrusting? on top of me. ...Geo? Why... what... how... what's going on? My moment of contemplating my life soon came to an end when I finally realized what my fellow team member was doing to me.

"AHHHHHH!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT!!!"

I vaguely heard a bell-like laughter come from outside, but I was too preoccupied trying to fend off the man on top of me and keep myself from fainting from embarrassment and humiliation.

----

I watched as the scared and antsy party members crawled out of their tents in their sleeping clothes, exhausted and overwhelmed, looking at the others with a weird stare, like they'd kill them but they also wanted to kill themselves at the same time. Meanwhile, I was looking at their silent exchange with anticipation. And soon enough, they all exploded.

"HOW DARE YOU! HOW... AHHH!"

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU, PENNY, DAMNED BASTARD!"

"FUCK YOU ALL!"

"Fufufu~" I watched their brawl, which looked more like a moving dust cloud in amusement. I soon saw Geo, looking cheerful as usual, trudge out of the tent to see what all of the ruckus was about. Then, after watching, he let out a satisfied smile and sat down with me to watch the show. He probably knew what I did last night. He also probably somehow fended off my illusion magic. Sad life~

"GEO! AHHH, I'M GONNA KICK YOUR SORRY ASS, BRAT!" Hollem shouted while pointing at poor Geo and charged.

"Oooh~ you'll have to catch me first~"

And so he was dragged into the dust cloud of fists too.

And so ends my little prank.

What a good prank that was, don't you agree, me?

Yeah, I think so too.