EUPHORIA - My Moon and Stars..

16.

Maya's POV;
"Maya I'm not trying to like stir the pot but you need to keep an eye on Jules and Elliot.." Kat mumbled as we lounged in Maddie's room. I hummed, in agreement. "I think you should keep an eye on Cass Maddie." I said turning to my side to look at maddie. Kat nodded.

"I noticed her holding his hand on the way to the hospital. It's fucking weird." Maddie stated,  Kat leaned her head on her hand before saying "she's been off ever since her and McKay broke up." And I nodded, the whole dynamic of the group had changed. Maddie turned to also face me and Kat "I don't know, if she still gave a fuck about McKay she would've been jealous when we hung out with him. She's distracted and I wanna know why."

"Let me do your hair I need a fucking distraction at this point." Kat murmured before I sat in front of her and she began braiding my hair. "I'm gonna go order a salad, you guys want anything?" Maddie asked. "Just a coke please?" I asked, she nodded before looking at Kat. "Water please?" And with that Maddie was off.

"How are things with Ethan?" I asked softly as she pulled my baby hairs out. "I don't know if I love him." She whispered. I kissed her hand which was resting on my shoulder while she held the braid in the other. "We're in high school. Can you believe these are the years we're supposed to remember forever?" I mumbled. She chuckled before saying "I'd rather slam my head in a car door."

Maya - miss u

                       Elliot - I miss u too
                       Elliot - you wanna meet?

Maya - I'm at maddie's
Maya - come outside, she said she doesn't mind.

                        Elliot - omw

I waited patiently for Kat to finish my second braid before getting up and jogging down the stairs. I heard maddie yell "NO SEX ZONE" and giggling followed, I couldn't help but laugh too.

As I opened the door, I was pulled into his arms. "Hey." He whispered into my neck. I smiled. "Hi." His smile widened at my hair. "I like the braids Playgirl" he chuckled and I smiled in response before saying "thanks"

We sat down outside, enjoying each other's company. "Can't believe you fought Zack." I laughed loudly. "Why? I'm a tough guy" he said sarcastically as we both giggled. He looked at me through his hooded eyes, narrowing them slightly. "You're fucking beautiful yknow?" And I nodded grinning. "Thank you tough guy." I muttered. He leaned forward, taking a hold of my hand, pressing his lips to it gently.

"Do you like Jules?" I asked casually. He shook his head "only you." He grinned. I smiled back but i don't know. I wasn't convinced. "Do you like Fezco?" He asked, his eyes showing curiosity. "No"

I noticed his leg had been shaking since he sat down so i placed a hand on it. I could feel a tension in the room that didn't feel warm.. it felt colder than ever. "Maya.." he started. I looked up, and nodded wanting him to carry on. "I really like you, like really. But I can't be sober right now." He mumbled, moving slightly closer in an attempt to comfort me. And that's when I noticed his slightly blood shot eyes, a redness to his nose as if there'd been some pressure on it.

"Why not?" I asked, my voice slightly shaky as I felt my eyes become watery with salty tears.

I know what you're all thinking. Rue.. where the fuck have you been? Well.. that's not relevant right now but we'll get back to it someday I promise. Now.. when I said every addict had two personalities... I meant it. Maya's were polar fucking opposites. Addict Maya was bold, aggressive, daring and extremely fucking confrontational. Sober Maya had a relaxed version of those qualities but she was soft... loving, kind and also in extreme pain. That was the only thing they both had in common, they both wanted to fucking die.

"It's not your fault okay? I just I have some shit I need to deal with and that's the only thing that helps." He said, grasping me and trying to hug me. A tear slid down my cheek as I said, "I don't want you to die."

Elliot knew he was hurting her and that made him fucking despise himself. See this was the problem, we were all a bunch of depressed assholes in fucking love. What he failed to realise was, Maya was relying on him. He was her only hope in this fucked up world. It wasn't me. Or anyone else. She had put up with a lot of shit and gotten through it but she felt herself slipping into a state of mind that the weak couldn't ever handle, shit I know I couldn't.

"I won't, everything will be okay Maya." He mumbled into my hair as I cried. After that I couldn't speak, I just cried. Elliot kissed my shoulder, rubbing my arms up and down to calm me and it didn't work. I moved back slightly as I saw his eyes process my shattered ones. "How high are you right now?" I asked quietly. He inhaled, realising I knew.

You may think I was with Elliot getting high. I wasn't. It was Jules. Fucking Elliot and Jules.

"I-" he stuttered not knowing what to say. I stood up. "With Rue?" My voice broke. He shook head his head, looking down. "Jules." He whispered, before I chuckled dryly, standing up completely and stepping away. "Since you love spending time getting high with my friends, tell maddie and Kat I had to go home." He stood up right after me, grabbing a hold of my arm.

"Maya come on." He mumbled. I loosened my arm out of his grip. "Did you seriously think this would just be us getting high and fucking? Is that what you wanted?" I raised my voice. He shook his head. "Let me speak." I stood silently, my expression filled with anger. "It's not you. If you can give up drugs then good i'm so proud but it's not that easy for everyone." He spoke calmly and my blood boiled. "IT WAS NOT FUCKING EASY FOR ME" I screamed, releasing built up anger I could no longer hold in.

For Maya to be this angry, Elliot had fucked up real bad. Don't get me wrong I was pissed at Jules for encouraging it. I may not be clean but I don't intervene in other peoples fucking relationships. Especially not my best friends. Whether we were cool right now or not.

Elliot walked behind me, following me and not allowing me to leave. "You know what. YES Maya. Yes I thought we'd be high and fuck, you don't want a relationship I agreed. You didn't want me to touch you in public I fucking agreed. What more do you fucking want from me?" He shouted back. Another tear slid down my cheek. Defeated.

"I'm really tired. Please let me go." I whispered, feeling my heart physically hurt. He leaned his head back, clearly regretting what he said but it was too late. "I didn't mean to.." he drifted off, closing his eyes before inhaling. "I'm sorry." He whispered as I walked off.

The first three days after that one were fucking brutal for Elliot and Maya. After walking away from him, she made her way to my house. Me and Gia watched Gilmore Girls with her and tried our best to cheer her up. She knew I was still on drugs... she didn't try and stop me. She just calculated a way in which the chances of me OD'ing were reduced which didn't shock me, her 4.0 GPA helped. I hadn't spoken to Jules but that wasn't important. Maya needed me. And being needed felt good. A part of me was glad that this had happened.. I know it was fucked up. But I swear to god there was nothing I had missed more than my best friend.

OKAY HI GUYS. SORRY FOR THIS ONE! I wanted to add some spice:) I'm trying to portray addicts as realistically as possible so if you're feeling pissed at our holy trinity Rue, Maya and / or Elliot... that's the whole point!!! I hope you guys are enjoying the book. I'm thinking of writing a fez fanfic after im done with this one.. if you guys would be interested let me know.. love you all 💘💘