EUPHORIA - My Moon and Stars..

32

Maya's POV:

I made my way to school with Rue, on the back of her bike. I clutched onto her from behind, feeling her legs tense as she pedalled us all the way to hell. We didn't speak, both of us listening to music, appreciating the beautiful breeze.

I felt blue. Completely and utterly blue. As foreign as the feeling was it was the only way I could think to decide the way I was feeling. Just blue. I missed having someone all to myself, someone only I could rely on. Right now I kind of had no one like that. As much as Fez was trying to help, he worried about Ash and the business in general. He was stressed and constantly tired which made me feel bad, stopping me from asking him to come over.

Maddie was planning her revenge on that asshole of an ex and Kat was deciphering if she was an evil bitch for not loving Ethan, she'd asked for some space with that one. And rue? Rue was troubled enough with Jules and the addiction, Gia, her mom, that crazy drug dealer lady. There was too much happening.

Cassie was fucking terrified because of maddie and I hadn't heard from Lexi in a while. All of this, made me really want to speak to Elliot and as pathetic as it sounds a part of me wished he'd approach me today. And I guess I manifested it or whatever the fuck because he kind of did.

It was lunch when some random freshman dropped a note on my table, the table I was currently sat alone at. I guess I didn't get anyone's memo when they collectively decided not to be present in the cafeteria. I didn't mind. I had my music playing and furrowed my eyebrows at the nervous freshman, his cheeks pink as he avoided eye contact. I took an AirPod out before asking him "what is this?" He shrugged anxiously "he said he's really effing sorry." He mumbled and then turned the other way and walked off.

I awkwardly smiled at the freshman before plugging my AirPod back in and unravelling the note and reading it. It read...

Maya,
Im not even going to try and pretend what I did was forgivable because it was far from. But I don't give a shit, I'm going to try anyway. It's been too long, I don't even know how fucking long but I can't do this. I can't just avoid you when I see you, I can't stop myself from laughing when you make your smart ass comments in class. I certainly can't stop myself from wanting to walk right over to you now and be your company. I don't know if you decided to be alone or not but you look miserable. Almost as miserable as me, which is fucking crazy considering I'm an addict. That was a joke. I'm currently sober.
I know you think I'm an asshole. And you have every right to feel that way, please let me stop you from being miserable. Please let me keep you company, although I have to admit the sober version of me isn't half as fun. Also I noticed you have pink eyeliner instead of black. It looks fucking awesome. Anyway, if you still despise me enough to continue wallowing in your loneliness then please scrunch up this beautifully written note and throw it in the trash can to your right. If however, you're feeling forgiving (which I'm really fucking hoping you are because you look so beautiful today) then I'm currently sat by the biggest cafeteria window, to your left. I'll be waiting patiently.
I know what I did was unforgivable and I know I already said this but I refuse to stop trying. I don't know how to end this. So .. bye :)
Elliot.

I looked over to my left feeling a familiar feeling spread across my chest. Regret. Regret of ever allowing myself to weaken this much over a boy. Because as tough as I felt I was, as much of an argumentative, defensive and simply pissed off person I was... I still got up and found myself making my way to him. Scrunching up his stupid note and putting it in my pocket as I saw him sat with his head in his hands. Clearly refusing to see whether I was going to come or not.

I flicked his ear as his head shot up, surprise evident in his eyes. "Oh-" he began, before I help up a finger. "I'm using you because I'm bored. Keep me company and it better be good or I'll go home." I said in a genuinely rude tone. A small smile fell on his lips which irked me but I chose not to say anything. "I like your makeup" he said casually while taking a bite of his sandwich. I rolled my eyes before grabbing his juice box and drinking from it, ignoring the nerves in my stomach. I was still kind of pissed. And then I remembered. Rue. Oh my god she might hate me for even speaking to him. Even if those words weren't particularly nice. I pulled out my phone after telling him to shut up and texted Rue.