𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝑺𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒔 • yeonbin & taegyu ✓

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°•𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖗 𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 • low self-esteem, self-deprecating thoughts•°

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𝕶𝖆𝖎 tried talking with the long haired but it didn't go as planned, beomgyu didn't answer anything, just shrugging his shoulders when the blonde asked him what was wrong. the youngest tried multiples times, but stopped when realizing it wasn't going to work, he just hoped the older was okay.

soobin asked him how it went and kai saw the defeated expression on the male's face when telling him. the blonde wished beomgyu wasn't that stubborn and would talk to his brother, the tallest clearly was hurting with them being apart and the blonde didn't like it.

the brown haired knocked on yeonjun's door, opening it while sighing, the older was, again, shirtless. soobin didn't say anything just taking his shoes off and sitting on the bed while looking at the black haired, who was on a chair and cleaning guns.

"so he didn't talk." yeonjun broke the silence, not looking at the other.

"no." soobin stared at the wall, feeling like shit. the thoughts of not doing enough and causing his brother's pain, coming back to him. the male felt completely useless, like he was the one supposed to be dead and not taehyun, so that way someone worthy would be breathing.

"he will have to come out of the room when we leave, so just focus on finding a place to go." the black haired shrugged and soobin looked at him, contemplating what to do. yeonjun was there, in front of the younger, he could take all the pain away and make the male feel good, make him forget everything.

the tallest hummed, taking his pants off after and staying in only boxers. yeonjun stared at him, following his movements.

"what the fuck are you doing?" the black haired put the gun on the table, leaning back to observe the younger.

"getting ready to sleep?" soobin said before taking his shirt off, he then got up walking to the older and stopping beside him, grabbing the shirt that was on the table and putting it on, yeonjun's shirt. the younger gave the other's a side look before going back to the bed and laying down.

"i thought you were avoiding me but right now you're basically begging to get fucked." yeonjun tsked while tilting his head and pressing his tongue on his inner cheek. he got up from the chair, taking some steps and stopping before the other, licking his lips when seeing soobin's long legs.

soobin knew he was maybe fucking up, but he didn't care anymore. he didn't want to feel worthless like he was feeling, he wanted yeonjun's hands grabbing his skin and making him forget everything, he wanted to feel like he mattered, feel the care and gentle touch. and maybe he was a fool, maybe he was asking to be hurt and thrown away after, but what was the difference? be thrown away like trash wasn't anything if he already felt like he was disposable and useless.

the younger sat on the bed in front of the other, looking at him. soobin kissed yeonjun's abs softly, enjoying finally feeling his skin again, but before he could continue, the black haired grabbed his face between his fingers.

"that's not how it works." yeonjun smirked, looking at the taller from above. "i want your heart back. you took it away from me and i want it back." soobin froze, staring at him.

"i want it to break, burn and thorn apart, to make anything i want with it." he lowered himself, his face centimeters away from soobin's. "then i will give you all you want."

the younger felt like crying, he wanted it so bad but that meant disappointing his brother and kai. it meant going back to zero and throwing away all the effort he made during the last weeks. soobin knew, but he couldn't let go of yeonjun, he was addicted to it, he loved it too much. he hated himself for it, for liking it, for wanting it, for being a fool, for being worthless, for being a disappointment.

so he needed it, he needed the moments where yeonjun could make him feel like a human being.

"okay." he closed his eyes, knowing there wasn't a going back, knowing he just jumped the cliff without knowing if there was water in the end. he felt the adrenaline running through his veins, he felt high and fuck, he loved it. "but i want your heart too."

yeonjun smirked, looking at a dazed soobin.

"i can't promise you that."

"i know." soobin raised his hand, putting it on the other's abs. he was walking in a mine right now, he could get killed and hurt, but his heart still beat fast while the adrenaline filled his body, he liked it. soobin liked how yeonjun put him in danger, a different type of danger. "but if one day you think i can have it, then promise to give it to me."

before the black haired could answer, soobin moved his hand to the side, touching yeonjun's biggest scar, the one he was almost killed when touching months before. the older tensed in place, before looking at the younger and letting him do whatever he was doing. that was when the taller knew he had a chance, he could have hope, he could try, because there was a possibility of finding water in the end of the cliff.

soobin felt the slightly protruding skin, it looked like it had been painful, but well treated. yeonjun let go of his face, still careful with his actions, and the younger leaned his head foward, pecking the scar before looking up. the black haired stared at him intensely, grabbing his hair and pulling it back, making the younger's head fall back and him look up.

"we have a deal." the older said and bent down, kissing soobin hard and making him lay on the bed while supporting himself on one of his arms, with the other he held the younger's face.

soobin wrapped his arms around yeonjun's shoulder and waist, kissing him back while feeling his scarred skin. he liked it, he liked everything about the black haired, even the things he hated. the male laced his legs on the older's waist, pulling him with them to make the space between their bodies shorter.

yeonjun took his hand off the other's face and held his thigh, squeezing it hard. he had missed the feeling of soobin's soft skin, how it felt marking it and touching it, he missed owning soobin. because in the end, he was just as addicted as the taller was.

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°•𝖆/𝖓 • i wasnt planning on publishing two chaps today but what can i say, i cant stop spoiling u guys•°

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